10 cringe questions you'll be asked at Xmas lunch

"I'll buy a house in the 'burbs, get married and have kids on January the Whenever I Damn Well Please"

Tis almost the season of office Christmas parties, tinsel, gift-giving... and awkward family reunions.

From judgey relatives to nosy co-workers, here are ten awkward questions you'll definitely be asked over the silly season.


1. "So are you still single?"

The special emphasis on the still is such a passive aggressive dig at the length of time you've been single for and it's enough to make the question a dreaded one.
Respond with: "Yep and their name is Netflix. I guess you could say it's getting pretty serious."

2. "So you're still living at home?"

Gee thanks, what a way to make it feel like my life is going nowhere!
Respond with: "Yep, but if you want to fund my deposit for a house you're more than welcome to!"

3. "How's the job hunt going?"

Well I'm still looking for one so it's safe to assume probably not very well.
Respond with: "I applied to be Beyonce but I haven't heard back yet. I'll keep you posted!"

4. "Why do you spend so much time on your phone? It fries your brain"

Oh cool, thanks for your input Grandpa.
Respond with: "Cool, I'll remember that next time you ask me to find the start button for your TV."

5. "When are you going to get a real job?"

Hahahah WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AUNTY CHERYL?
Respond with: "Oh, I do have a real job actually and I love it. Can you say the same about working at the call centre?"

6. "So are you still a vegetarian?"

Because for some reason, people seem to think you're just going through a 'phase'.
Respond with: "No, I thought I'd get into cannibalism instead."

via GIPHY

7. "Whatever happened to that ex of yours?"

I don't know why people think this is okay to ask. Who knows? Who cares?
Respond with: "As far as I know he's still in jail. Why, do you want his number?"

8. "When are you going to settle down/get married/have kids?"

Okay, settle down Grandma - this isn't the fifties. Nowadays women have careers!
Respond with: "Oh hang on just let me check my calendar. Ah yes, here it is. I'll do that on the October the Whenever I Damn Well Feel Like It."

9. "You changed your hair...?" (followed by silence)

Not 'wow, your hair looks great' or 'it really suits you'. Just 'umm, you changed it'? *crickets*
Respond with: "I see you're still rocking the Rachel haircut."

10. "When are you going to buy a house?"

Ummm, have you SEEN the state of the housing market?!
Respond with: "I'm in a very committed relationship with my avocado toast right now."


emmaduffy01

Emma is just your average book loving, tea drinking, story writing, narcissistic millennial on an eternal quest for the perfect t-shirt. Ever since she picked up her first copy of Dolly when she was twelve, she always knew she wanted to work in magazines. She would describe herself as a bit of a hopeless romantic with an obsession for true crime and horror and a love for red wine, whiskey or a stiff gin and tonic. When she's not binge watching Netflix or buying things she can't afford online, she spends her weekends trawling through bookstores and eating her way through Brisbane.