The Self Financer | Is she Setting herself up for Romantic Failure?

To be self-financed is not luck – both women and men work hard for their pay checks so why does tradition tell women not to flaunt their worth and to be dependent on a partner. As dated as the term tradition might be, hints still affect our 2015 lives. But when the stiletto is on the other foot, are women offended when a man's financial worth is more than the value of her shoe-robe? Which we all know has no limit.

They say if she has a job, her own car, pays her bills and manages to live comfortably before she meets a man, understand she wants loyalty, not money, she can finance herself.

In this case we're talking about more than a woman's ability to pay her own bills and buy her own groceries. We're talking about the daily fine dining, the weekly manicure, the monthly Louboutins and the annual trip to Paris, New York or Milan, whichever takes our fancy.

The Self Financer | Is she Setting herself up for Romantic Failure?

Traditionally, women earn less than men. It's a sad truth but it's true. It's a theory researchers call the gender pay gap. And we're not happy about it. Since 1990, the gender pay gap has been pretty consistent at between 15 to 18%. While it doesn't sound like a lot, on an average 55k annual salary, that difference is worth around $10, 000. That's a lot of Choos, even new season.

Maybe this has something to do with the fact women represent just over 50% of the Australian population but only 45.3% of the workforce. Ladies, if you want the luxuries, you can't be dependent on the other 54.7% of the population. What ever happened to independent women? A man in our lives is a luxury in itself and they're nice to have about, but seriously, can we not stand on our own two, well-shoed, feet?

Independence in 2015 is more than driving yourself about, making your own plans and not being afraid to shop alone. Now it means buying your own car, financing your own plans and paying your credit card after said shopping trip – within the interest free period.

But if we are part of the lucky few who have a partner willing to finance our addictions, should we feel bad about batting our eyelashes and being grateful for them? We say no. We also say women should do what they want when they want so if this means saying thank you and graciously accepting the Simone Perele once in a while, so be it. Besides, that's basically a gift for him as well.

The Self Financer | Is she Setting herself up for Romantic Failure?

But there is always that back-of-our-minds panic. What happens if we die and our partner sells our shoes for what we told them they cost? Well if you use his credit card, he already knows what they cost. And what you paid for that salad at the Strand as well.

To accept let's say, donated, finances is ok once in a while. Think of it as a gift. But the thrill of using your own hard work and own money to buy life's little (and big) luxuries is not something we can easily pass up. There is some sort of satisfaction in knowing those gems in the wardrobe came from all those late nights at the office. And vice versa, when working those late nights, we know the hours are magically going to transform into said gems.

While it's nice to have somebody willing to spoil us, it's even nicer to be able to spoil ourselves when and where we like. A man's generosity should never be a turn-off. But if men can't handle the fact we make a decent salary, or can't believe we paid *that much* for *those shoes*, he's the wrong one ladies. We don't need that kind of negativity in our lives.

Some women choose to follow men and others choose to follow their dreams. But your career will never wake up and tell you it doesn't love you anymore.