'The World According to Karl' is probably the most obnoxious and highly entertaining read any fashion lover could indulge in.
If you're easily offended I'd encourage you to stop reading now. Karl Lagerfeld, a creative genius, a beautiful tragedy and a fashion revolutionist is also his own type of ugly.
He is a shocking creature of negativity and beauty. He's one of fashion's powerhouses that needs little introduction. Lagerfeld runs Chanel, Fendi and his own fashion house. He is always one step ahead of the runways and surely isn't afraid to show-off his greatness.
Could it really be that this is Karl's world and we are just living in it? Well, in his mind according to these quotes - it probably isn't that far off from the truth.
We've extracted 44 of the most interesting and appalling statements made by the King himself from the book, 'The World According to Karl'. Be prepared to be shocked...
1. "When I was very young, at the beginning in my business was to work more than the other to show them their pointlessness."
2. "I’ve never smoked, never drunk, never taken drugs, but I don’t tolerate sour-faced puritans and Calvinists. The opposite – I only like people who get high, who drink and smoke and do all the things I don’t do. Some people are made to destroy themselves, and I admire that, but I’m made to survive. The survival instinct is my most advanced instinct. I only do the trapeze with a safety net."
3. "I never wanted to have children. Because if a child didn't do as well as me, I wouldn’t have loved it, and if it did better than me I wouldn’t have loved it ether."
4. "I’m surrounded by young and beautiful people. I hate looking at ugliness."
5. "I remember a designer who said her dresses were worn only by intelligent women. Naturally she went bankrupt."
6. "Frustration is the mother of crime. I’m afraid there would be much more crime if it weren’t for prostitutes and porno films."
7. "Homosexuality is like hair colour, nothing more. And then it avoids the problem of having an unbearable daughter-in-law, my mother used to say."
8. "Jogging pants are a sign of defeat. You’ve lost control of your life, so you go out in jogging pants."
9. "To be happy? No, I’m not so ambitious."
10. "I’m never happy. I’m in a permanent state of dissatisfaction."
11. "I feel no remorse and no regrets. I have amnesia when it comes to the past."
12. "I am a living label. My name is ‘Labelfeld’ not ‘Lagerfeld’.
13. "I hate rich people who live within their means."
14. "I worked out a lot before I was 20. I was hard underneath. I had just a little padding. I was quilted. Always Chanel..."
15. "I didn’t go on this diet for people to paw me or to be sexy. I wanted to be a good coat hanger."
16. "I think that for both women and men fashion is the healthiest motivation for losing weight."
17. "Buy clothes in the size you want to wear. Get rid of the rest, give it away, and when you have no more clothes I can guarantee that if you are a kilo overweight, you’ll make an effort. Because there’s nothing more unpleasant than a pair of trousers that fit a bit too tightly."
18. "No one wants to see curvy women up there. You’ve got fat mothers sitting in front of the television with their bags of chips and saying thin models are ugly. Fashion is about dreams and illusions."
19. "Yes, some people say to me ‘you’re too skinny’. But a skinny person never says that to me, only people who could lose a few pounds say that."
20. "A diet is the only game where you win while you’re losing."
21. "I never fall in love. I’m in love with my jobs."
22. "The purpose of dress design is to make people feel good, not to express the pain and the suffering of the world in taffeta."
23. "When I do something, I do it 100 per cent. I’m a professional killer."
24. "I am a kind of fashion nymphomaniac who never gets an orgasm. I am never satisfied."
25. "If I was a Russian woman I’d be a lesbian. Russian men are really not very good-looking."
26. "It’s always been my dream to have white hair. Dry shampoo is my cocaine."
27. "Do I know how much I have I my bank account? That’s a question for people with little money."
28. "When people show their ass that doesn’t bother me. When they expose their feelings, that shocks me."
29. "I hate intellectual conversations. I’m only interested in my own opinion."
30. "There’s no justice. Social injustice is almost the only kind you can cure. When a girl is ugly and has a fast ass down to the ground, what can you do? She’ll never be Claudia Schiffer – that’s real injustice."
31. "I have no human feelings."
32. "There’s nothing more mind-numbing than people who talk too much – that’s why I prefer silent movies."
33. "I hate TV at home. Seeing human beings who don’t exist in the house makes me afraid. I don’t want melodrama and tragedy invading my universe, which is completely antiseptic and serene."
34. "When you are shortsighted, the first ten minutes after you take your glasses of you look like a rescue dog that wants to be taken to the pound. That’s not my look. That’s why I wear dark glasses."
35. "Books are a hard-bound drug on which you can’t overdose. I am the happy victim of books."
36. "I’m a slave to my books."
37. "I want to read everything, to see everything, to be informed. I am a paper addict, a paper freak, a paper-worm."
38. "I’m always late, it’s the tragedy of my life. I was born three weeks after I was due. My mother said that she went to the clinic every day because she didn’t want the ‘mess’ at home. I never got those three weeks back."
39. "I may be scary to some people but not to me. I know what is behind the black glasses."
40. "I don’t mind being a monster, but there are limits."
41. "I like it that people don’t seem nice and that you can discover them. I never smile either, I find that inane."
42. "I’ve gone beyond ego."
43. "I’m always busy. You know, the more I do, the more ideas I have – that’s the funny thing. The brain is a muscle, and I’m kind of a body-builder."
44. "The emotions expressed by the eyes, they’re not something I really want to put on the market. That’s why I wear dark glasses."