Dating

Why TINDER is tainting traditional dating

Written by

tinder02

Feel free to argue with me all you like but I can't believe how disturbingly difficult it is to date online.

Personally, I have an extremely busy social schedule. That is why online dating doesn't really fit well with me. I communicate with people daily and when I get home the last thing I want to do is 'get to know' somebody online. But I have to say, my curiosity did get the better of me. All of this hype around Tinder did prove to be thought provoking.

A few months ago, I ran into an old friend and he introduced me to his girlfriend. We had a few drinks and I asked them about how they met. They both replied, "Tinder." I was gobsmacked. All I could say in reply was, "Oh my god, I've met my first real Tinder love story."

But the good news doesn't end there, my best friend told me about one of her girlfriends who locks in three to four dates a week just by using the app. And my beauty therapist told me about her client who is packing up her whole life and moving to another state because she has found the man of her dreams.

So I had been fed these positive stories and I thought maybe I had been missing out on something fun and special. Who knows where it could go?

I decided to take a step of courage and I downloaded the app and set up my profile. I had a quick look at what other people do and I customised my own.

Now truthfully, my Facebook profile is quite professional which means I don't have a lot of 'fun' photos on there. They're usually of me in my working element at social events. Though my pics are nice (that's what I think anyway) they are quite 'serious'.

But I thought, I have to work with what I have and I'm not changing to impress anyone. This is me and surely they will accept the woman that I am. So I put three photos up of the 'serious' me and my profile description said something like: 'Food. Family. Fashion.'

Then the fun began ... swiping. After an hour of going through the distressful talent in a 25km radius I swiped right for 5 guys.

And then I waited. And waited. And, I was still waiting.

Three days later after repeating the above I still had nothing. No one matched with me.

I thought to myself, "This can't be the case? What's wrong with me?"

I had to ring the girls and ask them if I had done something wrong.

They all agreed that my photos were 'intimidating.' That they represented 'the working woman, the fashion obsessed" and that I came off 'high maintenance'.

I disagreed with them but I also acknowledged that this was a social experiment and it would be fascinating to see how things could be different if I changed up my 'look.'

That weekend I went out and took selfies. Yup, I tried the fish gape, played with the lighting and different filters and finally came up with more approachable and fun photos.

It was really hard work! I wasn't ready for the effort that came with presenting myself to the world the way they wanted to see me.

Anyway, I ended up uploading these new pics and I wrote my profile description as, "I love red wine, real talks and random moments. I dislike pick up lines, ping pong and patrone."

Within one hour, I had 25 matches and 15 conversations on the go.

But most of the conversations started with hideous pick up lines, including this shocker, "You look like you would go off like a frog in a sock." Or "I want to bang you like I just banged my big toe."

The other conversations quickly dwindled as they lacked any form of depth.

I sat their and I asked myself is this exactly what the dating world has come to? Quick fixes, superficial swipes, short attention spans and the vanity of looks rather than getting to know someone for who they really are?

As I was deep in thought, this guy decided to ask me out on a date. I replied with, "Wow, I've never gotten this far. I'm not sure. I don't really know you yet."

His reply was, "Are you a robot?"

I think this pretty much sums up why Tinder has ruined my perspective on online dating.

For now, I'm going to stick to my serious photos, busy social calendar and meeting men in real time in the real world.

If you've had a shocking Tinder story, I would love to hear about it. Comment below or email me at stacey@fashionweekly.com.au.

Stay tuned for our next story on Tinder Confessions. {jcomments on}