Dating

Why my relationship status doesn’t define me

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Ladies, it’s time to get real. More times than not, I’ve been asked about my love life which is followed by a confronting moment where after I’ve spat out my single answer the recipient doesn’t know what to say and stares at me in silence for what feels like way too long. After they’ve taken a few seconds to process the unimaginable, they respond with, “Don’t worry, I’m sure you will meet Mr. Right really soon. I’m certain you’ve just been working so hard that you haven’t had time for a relationship.”

Like seriously? This annoys me time and time again. I’m sitting there wondering why they even have an opinion about my life. Of course I’m busy, but if Mr. Right came along today, then I’d surely be more than willing to make a little room in my busy schedule to get to know him.

Other than the annoying comment, it’s those few seconds that have me puzzled by the look on their face. It’s like all these speculations about how and why I could still be single are running circles around their thought processor. Maybe they’re thinking that I’m possibly crazy, hard to live with or have undeniably annoying habits. It’s like they’re sizing me up, picking out my flaws and assessing me coldly like I have some form of man-repelling disease.

So this is why in that moment, I feel the need to clearly tell them, that my relationship status does not define me. I’m single and they need to STFU about it. Who cares whether or not I have a man by my side. It’s not their concern and right now, it’s certainly not mine.

We’re are all grown women here, so let’s get candid about it. The truth is, though you don’t see us with a man, more than likely we have one that we are calling at 10pm as we leave the office on a Tuesday night.

We receive an invitation and it says to bring a plus one. No, this is not awkward because we’ll simply bring our most-fabulous friend who gets us to the core.

You’re thinking that we have no one to go home to on a Friday night after a long week. You’re wrong because we’ve surrounded ourselves with people who love and cherish us. Girl’s nights out with our BFFs, dinner with our guy friends, movie nights with family – they’re all there fulfilling us.

Do we get lonely, yes, but that’s what Tinder is for.

Do we miss having those big strong arms wrapped around us when we feel like the world is on our shoulders? Yes, but we’ve found those arms in champagne, Sex and the City re-runs and plenty of laughs with our girlfriends.

Are we panicking about having a family? Stop putting pressure on us. We are trying to take this one step at a time. Being single is not a curse. It’s a chapter.

We are not defined by our relationship status.

I know that Mr. Right will pop up sooner or later. So for now, I’m going to continue building my world. Love will find me, it’s all part of this circle we call life.