Dating

Why coping with loneliness will help you discover who you are

Written by

Be You02

It's the lull in the valley, neither the end nor the beginning. It's that point in between that's the silent killer. It creeps in with no warning - abrupt, sudden and overwhelming. The chill sets in and you are left with the daunting reality of being alone.

It's the moment where it feels like nothing has the power to fill the unexplainable void.

Maybe the timeline has only been a week or maybe it has been a year? But when the one thing that holds you together is taken away - you're faced with yourself. Just you, alone with the honest representation of your thoughts, ambitions and dreams judged by your past, present and future.

Being built up to be torn down is a comprising position. Is it ever safe to fill that empty space with the one thing that destroyed us?

Were we ever built to truly handle falling apart?

I'm surrounded by strong, independent and beautiful women. Yet, their weakness all lies in a common denominator and it's the one thing that makes them emotionally vulnerable. They are victims to love, lust and loneliness.

My best conversations with the girls have been about how much we love and hate our exes. We're consumed by the new fling, the date, the relationship and the potential of love.

If we are this absorbed in the what ifs and the maybes then are we victims to our own selfish needs? And if we are, how do we free ourselves?

Are their survival tactics to making it through a lonely drought? Because it's something nobody talks about.

It's said that time will heal the heart but what if that is never enough?

I think there will always be a sting from a broken heart. Recovery is possible, but one is forever tainted when they've given themselves to love.

As women we are fragile human beings. Though we are externally fierce, confident and independent, inside us tells another story - delicate, wounded and diluted.

It had me thinking, loneliness tends to lurk in at the darkest hour. It's at night, when the world slows down and all we have is ourselves. The most confronting factor is that it's difficult to be left alone with our own thoughts.

It's not about the need to be with someone else, it's a complex issue where we are faced with desire and reality.

I believe that heartbreaks do elevate us. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. There is always beauty at the end of the journey.

Surround yourself with things that make you smile. Learn to love and accept yourself. Don't give up because you've been disappointed. Though we cry many tears and our heart aches uncontrollably, what we must never forget is that we were born to love and be loved.