More times than I can count, I've compared my girlfriend circles to the controversial characters in Sex in the City and not so secretly I've almost hoped that I was of course, Carrie Bradshaw.
But what was the reason behind my obsession with the woman who never had her life together? It was the illusion of a dream wardrobe, fabulous outfits, a footwear addiction like no other, tall lattes, endless strolls through a city that never sleeps and countless flirtatious encounters.
She was the hopeful romantic, cute in her ways and repeatedly vulnerable for an extraordinary story.
Comparing Carrie to her other three best friends, she always appeared far more relatable. But if you observe on a deeper level, she was a mess. And ultimately, she is the woman I never want to be.
Miranda for example was strong, confident and totally dominant in a male driven industry.
Samantha, though a man-eater was totally in control of her sex life. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it. She wouldn't settle for anything less than perfect (well, her kind of perfect).
Finally, there was Charlotte, innocent and sweet with her ladylike tendencies. She for a fact, was the character I never wanted to resemble.
But as I looked deeper, her ways were similar to Samantha, the only difference was she was a little more delicate.
You see, Charlotte knew what she wanted and she was determined to get it, she wanted the white picket fence, the adult apartment and perfect love story. Even though she met a lot of mistakes she never settled.
As of late, I decided to re-watch the Sex and the City series - from start to finish.
I felt like I could indulge in the escapades and affairs and hopefully be re-enlightened and inspired ... but I was quickly disappointed.
Carrie Bradshaw was always letting something BIGger taint her. From the start she wouldn't stand up to Mr. Big. It was a toxic cycle of emotional abuse and triggers that would always take her back to the same place.
She couldn't let go and she didn't want to. And that was her problem.
This iconic woman who I adored was the push over, the nice girl and the woman no one wants to be.
I'm sorry if I've ruined aspirational dreams here, but I think someone needed to point this out. We've been a blinded society of females who have worshiped her and the men she's screwed. But in all honesty, she was the picture of a distorted reality of love.