What is Missing in Your Relationship?

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Do you feel as if there is something missing in your relationship? Are you wondering or questioning whether there is more? Would you like to have far greater love, intimacy, fulfilment and happiness with your partner?

The people who are happiest and most fulfilled in their relationship with a partner are those who have balance across the different areas of their life. In contrast, people who focus their effort and energy in only one or a few areas of life, after a while start to feel unfulfilled. They wonder and question if there is more to a relationship and life, and can feel as if there is something missing.

Here are two effective strategies to assist you with creating greater fulfilment in your relationship with your partner:

1. Identify what is missing. Before you can address what is missing in your relationship, first you need to ask yourself and identify what is missing in your relationship and in life.

Start by writing down all the different areas in your life e.g. relationship, career/business, family, friends, health, finances, personal growth, etc. Next to each of these areas give yourself a score out of 10 (with 10 being the top score), as to how happy and fulfilled you feel with that area of your life right now. It is important that you are totally honest with yourself for this step.

Then, look at each of the areas in which you scored less than 10. Often lack of fulfilment in other areas of your life will negatively impact on your relationship with your partner. For example, being unhappy with your weight and health can reduce intimacy.

Think about and write down what specifically you need to change or improve in each of those areas of life so that you can increase your score to a 10, and fill the gap. The things you wrote down are the things that are missing in your relationship and other areas of your life. These are the areas you will need to address in order to be more fulfilled in your relationship and in life.

2. Fill the gap. The best way to fill the gap is to take action towards making the improvements and changes you identified above. If you have a number of areas of life with gaps, it is useful to prioritise these in the order in which you would like to improve these. Also think about which areas, once improved, will then have positive flown on effects on your relationship with your partner.

Next, set a goal for each of the areas that you wish to improve in your relationship and other areas of life. Make sure that your goals are specific, realistic, measurable and have a specific date by which you would like to achieve them.

If you have more than two goals, you may wish to stagger the dates so that you can focus on two goals at a time and achieve them faster. Then for each of your goals, put together a simple action plan of the key steps you need to take to achieve each goal. Taking baby steps each day or week will reduce overwhelm and will have you achieving your goals before you know it!

Imagine how much more fulfilled and happy you could be once you identify what is missing in your relationship and life, and proactively take action towards filling those gaps!


Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit

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