In a day and age where Tinder is the norm, a text message has replaced a written love letter and a date consists of two people with their faces buried in their phones, do we really wonder why people question whether romance is dead?
With Valentine’s Day approaching, most people are preparing for romantic dates with their partner but we should ask ourselves why?
Tala Scott, founder of Evolve Today, relationship expert and author, believes that Valentine’s Day is an outdated tradition and says that it shouldn’t be the only time couples celebrate their relationship.
“As important as it is to celebrate your partnership we should all be making an effort to show our partner how much we value them every day not just on February 14th. Valentine’s Day is helping to create negative habits in which partners believe they only need to celebrate their relationship on Valentine’s Day and for the rest of the year they can be complacent, which is not keeping the flame of love alive,” says Tala.
Tala has listed her tips on how to strengthen your relationship throughout the year not just on Valentine’s Day. These include:
So often couples take each other for granted and don’t acknowledge everything they do for one another. It is important to make an effort to show your partner how much they mean to you and sometimes this simply means giving them time and attention. Life gets so busy that sometimes we forget to stop, feel and smile. If you’re busy then make the time. Relationships are important and need nurturing.
Go on an adventure
As we get older people assume that we have to act a certain age. This is nonsense! The best way to celebrate your partner is by re-living that feeling of falling in love. Go on an adventure, laugh, love and act like an 18 year old couple falling hopelessly in love. Couples need this time out as an opportunity to connect, to talk, to listen, to share, to support, to empathise, to laugh and to simply enjoy each other’s company.
In a healthy loving relationship, every day should be Valentine’s Day. Every day should be a declaration of how we really feel. We shouldn’t keep love in a bottle of our favourite scent or cologne to be used on special occasions. It’s doing the big things and the little things and appreciating the difference. It’s important not to take the little things for granted. Appreciating the gesture is golden.
Learn their language of love
Everyone has a different language of love according to Gary Chapman, a way in which they show and accept love. This can be through physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, or receiving gifts. Learn what your partner’s language of love is and work with it. Men and women think and feel differently so this can be hard at first to figure out but is vital to ensure the happiness of the relationship.
Date night away from kids
Sometimes you need a break from being a responsible parent and just have fun together. Set time aside for romance and intimacy. Expressing sexuality is healthy and balances your heart, body, mind and soul.
Put yourself in their shoes so you can acknowledge what they go through at work or home
Feeling supported by each other is like a gemstone in a relationship – valuable and precious. Make sure you understand the amount of work they do, whether in an office or at home with the children. Sometimes when we are stressed we can make rash judgements or build resentments based on work load. Make sure to empathise and see the situation through their eyes. Acknowledge and support them for the work they do.
It’s been said time and time again, in every conceivable language, that heart-felt communication is imperative in a relationship and needs to be expressed every day. Whether you’re feeling happy or sad, excited or frustrated, tell your partner how you feel. Open communication is vital to a healthy relationship and will allow it to grow and blossom. Make sure to tell your special someone “I love you” and say it from the heart.
Don’t go to sleep on an argument. The energy of anger keeps circulating in your system long after the last word has been shouted. If you can’t find a resolution, agree to disagree, which allows you both to settle. Make sure when you argue that you discuss matters at hand and avoid hitting below the belt to hurt the partner. This never resolves anything and can cause resentment to build within the relationship.
Self-love is one of the most sacred gifts you can give your partner. When you self-renew and re-energise you have so much more to give and share with another.
If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties in your relationship the most valuable and loving gift you can offer each other is to seek professional help. Too often the love we feel can become entangled in limiting patterns and beliefs. Love is the sacred gift that unites us. Love needs to be treated with the respect and honour that it deserves.
For more information visit www.evolvetoday.com.au