Dating

The signs that he has totally unleashed your inner crazy

Beyonce crying on the phone

Inside each calm, collected, hard working woman is an inner psycho just waiting for a f*ckboy to bring her out.

Now I’m not talking Gone-Girl-stage-your-own-death-with-one-messed-up-journal crazy, but when it comes to the male species, there are things us ladies do that we certainly aren’t proud of.

It’s easy to lose your #idontneedaman attitude - and let’s be honest, all common sense - when you have a man messing with your head and sending you total mixed signals.

The good thing? We’ve all been there babe!


Scenario 1: When you’re totally playing hard to get with a guy but you end up sending him 4 text messages, 6 Facebook pokes and 3 snapchats of your cat.

Crazy guy hammering


Scenario 2: When he doesn’t reply to your texts within a manner of minutes you decide, “Screw him!” and delete his number from your phone. You then continually check your phone every few minutes, just in case.

Guy checking his phone with no reply


Scenario 3: He finally replies and you over-analyse every character of that text.

“What do you think he means by this emoji?!”. You then spend the next three hours in total agony as you ‘make him wait’ to hear from you. Playing it cool... so cool.

 This is too much


Scenario 4: When he let’s you know he is ‘emotionally unavailable’, you drop all the other potential nice guys you are chatting with to pursue the one you can’t have. It's like having a slice of pepperoni pizza waved infront of your face when you are on a diet. 

Will Smith in Bad Boys


Scenario 5: You stalk his social media accounts endlessly... HOLD UP is that his sister or his ex?! Time to get investigative.

Hayley stalking guy in Modern Family


Scenario 6: You don’t hear from him for days then he texts you on a Wednesday night at 11pm to “come over for a drink”... and despite all your willpower you do just that.

Michael Scott in the office


Scenario 7: You spend hours trying to match your new lacy lingerie to an outfit that will look good on that you will also need to be able to take off in with a sexy little dance but then how will you do your hair and what about makeup because you wouldn’t want it smudge.... PHEW this is normal, right?

Choosing outfit in Clueless


Scenario 8: When you finally see him again you pretend like you’re totally chill and have not thought about him for one second.

Why yes, a casual non-committal relationship is TOTALLY what we want too (dies a little inside).

Yes that's what I want

So the final question, are we messed up?

Mindy Kaling saying 'emotionally, yes'

But men...

Katherine Heigl in the Ugly Truth

Weak ass b*tches we say...


Words: Frances van Eeden