Dating

Ten unspoken casual sex rules every woman should know

Girl and boy kiss

Ladies, would you agree that sex is easy when it’s at either ends of the two extremes; you’re having sex in a committed relationship or you’re drunk and going home with some guy that you NEVER want to see again?

I'm convinced that as women we are emotional human beings who often find ourselves blurring the lines between love and lust.

How are we supposed to have sex with someone whose company you like but you aren’t supposed to fall for?

While a casual sex ‘non-relationship’ can mess with your mind, it is not completely impossible to stay unattached. These are the rules you have to follow to ensure his late night rambles don’t have you looking like the heart-eye emoji!


1. Honestly think about the following question; Are you emotionally ready?

To avoid getting attached you need to be in a good place with yourself mentally.

2. Don’t cuddle, the temptation will be there... but whatever you do – don’t cuddle

Women’s bodies release a chemical called oxytocin when we orgasm, this chemical actually brings a desire to be close to someone. So next time you have the urge to spoon post-sex, remember it’s science and not him that’s making you feel like this.

3. Don’t allow him to manipulate you and don’t rely on plans with your f*ckboy

He doesn’t care about any obligation to you. And if he seems like a nice guy, girl be extra careful!

Him: We should hang out Thursday.
Translation: I’m going to lead you on thinking we have plans so you sit at home all night then text you sometime after 11 am and you will come over for sex.

4. Don’t make him a priority

Keep yourself open to dating and the possibility of actually meeting someone who is worth your feelings.

5. Put a timestamp on the ‘situation’ or better yet, find a guy you know is moving away in a few months

Don’t let it go on for too long because inevitably, your feelings will get involved.

6. Don’t overthink it

Don’t overanalyse his texts, don’t read into the way he kisses you and don’t think he means one thing when he says another.

7. Setting boundaries will ensure neither of you confuse your relationship, or the lack thereof

Set rules like 'no going out on dates', 'no spending the night together' and 'no getting jealous about what he does with his time'. Now ensure you stick to them.

8. Keep your f*ckbuddy separate from your life

Don’t invite him to drinks with the girls (p.s they will NOT like him anyway) and whatever you do, do not involve family.

9. Be honest with yourself about what you are capable of handling emotionally

If at any point you find yourself falling for your f*ckbuddy, don’t let him take advantage of you – get out of there!

10. Have fun!

At the end of the day that is all this is; a bit of fun - unleash your inner sex goddess!


Words: Frances van Eeden