The disconnect of Tinder and dating in an online world


“I’ve found the guy of my dreams! Well, sort of... I swiped right on him. He’s a total dreamboat, funny and gentlemanly, except I’ve never met him,” gushed a friend to me recently. Except this same Tinder dream-guy vanished without a trace just a few days of chatting later.

If you are shouting ‘hell yes!’ and you’ve experienced a new crush or recent hook-up suddenly stop replying to your texts like he’s fallen off the face of the earth - even though you know they’ve been read – girl you’ve been ghosted!

Tinder and the other many dating apps makes meeting people easier but keeping someone interested much harder.

We’re dating in a world where Snapchat’s and emojis are the new conversation and blind dates have become Tinder dates, and you can never anticipate what or who to expect.

In this world of disconnect and after a series of awkward dating situations, I wonder; are we overlooking potential because we are so curious about what else is out there? When the person you are on a date with does not tick all your ideal boxes, we barely have time for disappointment because we jump right back onto Tinder and keep swiping.

As a society we have become so detached; just because dating has moved online, we forget that it is another person with real feelings on the other side of the screen. It is important to take precautions when chatting online, be that on Tinder or any other dating apps, and not invest too much of yourself in one potential match.

Here’s how to make the most of dating on Tinder and avoid disappointment if it all goes awry:

Trust your gut

Whether he seems sketchy or too good to be true, listen to your gut when it’s telling you to be wary.

If you’re after more, don’t offer less

Sex has become so easy. Guys can swipe right on a girl and arrange to meet her at 11pm for a booty call – hit it and quit it, as they say. If you know from the start you are not after a one-night stand, don’t give in to temptation... patience is a virtue.

Multiply your love life

It’s normal to want to stop dating other people when you’ve met a guy you really like but be carefully not to give your heart over too soon. If you date a few guys that you are into, it won’t hurt as much when one rejects you.

You have to be picky

Be selective when you swipe right, you don’t want to end up with 30 random duds trying to pick you up 11pm at night. Remember to never settle for less than you deserve.

Have a conversation

If you meet someone in real life, you wouldn’t have a two sentence conversation then go on a date. Similarly have a conversation on Tinder, text and flirt to make sure you don’t waste your time on a date with someone you have no interest in.

Lose the checklist

Instead of having set criteria to determine your date as successful or a total dud, be open-minded to the person in front of you... you might even learn a thing or two about yourself.

Armed with this knowledge you are ready to head into the battlefield that is dating! 

Words: Frances van Eeden

Words: Frances van Eeden