Spring Clean Your Mind for Relationship Success

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You have probably spring cleaned your home. Have you ever spring cleaned your mind for relationship success?

As we go through life we can have positive or negative experiences in our relationships. Sometimes the past negative relationship and life experiences can have us feel hurt, rejected, not good enough, etc. All of these past feelings and thoughts can sabotage our current or future relationship success.

Here are 5 ways to spring clean your mind for relationship success:

1. Let go of past fears, hurts and self doubts

Declutter your mind from past emotions and self doubts. Common emotions we can feel from past relationships include hurt, anger, fear, rejection, guilt, jealousy, resentment, betrayal, grief, loss, etc. Common self doubts we can have from past relationship and life experiences include not good enough, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, being judged, I don’t deserve to have the relationship I want, etc.

When we have this unfinished business from the past, the more we feel those emotions and dwell on the above self doubts. The more your mind is cluttered with those memories of the past, the more it will hold you back from having the relationship you truly desire now and in the future.

2. Forgive and remember the lesson

Is there an ex-partner who has wronged you in the past and whom you have not forgiven? By holding onto lack of forgiveness you are only hurting yourself. They are probably unaware of your hurt.

Forgiveness includes accepting yourself and the other person for what happened. When you forgive, you learn from the situation rather than forget about it or condone any inappropriate behaviour. By learning from the situation now you will avoid repeating the same lessons in your present/future relationship.

3. Stop beating up on yourself

Most people are really good at beating up on themselves and regardless of how much they have achieved, they find fault. Your self-talk can be your best friend or a saboteur. Putting yourself down can cause you to put your partner down too, which can sabotage the relationship.

Learn to become your own best friend and start rewarding yourself for both the smallest and big achievements each day.

4. Banish anxiety and negativity

Because you get what you focus on, if you continue to focus on what you don’t want, you will keep attracting it. By visualising exactly what you want each day, you program your mind to attract more positive people, situations and opportunities into your life. Like attracts like. If you want to attract a positive partner and keep them in your life, ensure that you are positive first!

5. Turn Confusion into Clarity of Purpose and Direction

Without clarity there can be confusion and lots of purposeless action. Not knowing what you really want leads to scattered thinking and results in scattered action. It can also send a confusing message to your partner about what you want in a relationship.

Instead, create a clear vision for your life and relationship (and where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, etc.) and then set short term and long term goals to help you get there.

Once your spring clean your mind and have clarity about what you really want, you will more easily attract and keep the partner and relationship you desire.


Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit

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