Dating

31 thoughts we all have when lurking on an ex

Written by Jessica Lunan

Lurking is all fun and games until you see something you wish you didn’t.

Lurking is all fun and games until you see something you didn’t want to see.

In the social media age, we are all guilty of lurking. What’s lurking you may ask? Well if you have been living under a rock, lurking (or stalking) is the process of innocently searching someone on your social media pages to see what they’ve been up to. Whilst this is usually an ex, lurking doesn’t discriminate. You can lurk an ex best friend, that cute guy who works at that bar, or a new tinder flame. However, one thing we can guarantee is that while lurking you’ll always see something you wish you didn’t, and instantly want to set all of your feelings on fire.

Here’s the thoughts that every woman has while lurking on an ex on Facebook.

1. I’m pretty bored I wonder what (insert name) has been up too...

2. I mean I haven’t checked his FB in SO long.

3. Why is his name coming up in my recently searched? I swear I didn’t stalk him yesterday?

4. Ok fine maybe I did.

5. Ok careful, CAREFUL do not like anything.

6. His profile picture is still from 2 years ago... he looks so young why did I ever like him?

7. Ok he actually looks pretty cute there.

8. He's actually sooo cute.

9. DID I JUST LIKE THAT PHOTO?!

10. Ok phew I didn’t... ok breathe you’re doing good. Keep your thumbs to yourself, it’s fine.

11. Why is this girl liking all of his photos?

12. Ok get out of the photos what’s happening on his timeline.

13. Why is his friends list filled with girls?

14. Why does this same girl keep posting on his timeline?!

15. Actually WHY does the guy in this girl’s profile picture look so familiar?

[RELATED: Survival steps to help you get over your ex]

16. OMG IT’S HIM IN HER PROFILE PICTURE.

17. I bet they’re together, he’s moved on so fast.

18. I mean we broke up 6 months ago but still THAT WAS STILL SO FAST.

19. She’s really pretty...

20. I bet he sends her all the cute texts he used to send me.

21. Whatever I’m better off without him.

22. Ok well he only liked her photo and he didn’t comment on it. Does that mean they’re together?

23. Why am I even caring I’m over him.

24. Ok her profile says she’s single and his says he’s single so maybe they’re just friends and took a random couple photo?

25. Unless they’re wanting to keep it on the DL remember when we initially kept it on the DL?!

26. Why am I feeling like this I need to share this pain!!

27. Ok I’m just going to take a quick screenshot of the photo and send it to my GF’s, I mean no one will know.

28. Wait do people get notified when you take a screenshot of their profile picture?

29. They do on Snapchat. What if FB has decided to do the same?

30. Ok you know what I’m just going to do it.

31. I am officially never ever lurking again! Can I please go back two minutes ago? I was so happy two minutes ago.

Lurking is all fun and games until you see something you didn’t want to see.

How to detox your relationships in 2017

Written by Jessica Lunan

2017 is all about the good vibes.

deteoxrelationshops01

New Year, new start. And one of the best ways to ensure that the year ahead will be the best you’ve ever experienced is by letting go of any toxic relationships that may have been holding you back in 2016.

While it does sound quite harsh and difficult to do, once you have let go of people who have been negatively affecting your life you’ll feel as if a huge burden has been lifted off your shoulders. You’re happier, peaceful and are now surrounded by people who genuinely love and support you.

TBH, ‘aint nobody got time for negativity, and 2017 is all about the positive vibes. Here’s how to detox your relationships in 2017.


“What do I deserve”

Sit yourself down and have a long think about what you want to change and achieve this year. Think about your goals and the people in your life who you know will fully support your dreams. Are there any people who you feel constantly bring you down, push your buttons or have something negative to say about everything? If you find yourself knowing a few of these people, it’s time to consider either bringing up the issue with them, or stepping back from that relationship.

Cleanse your social media

Do you have Facebook friends who are constantly uploading negative comments, starting drama and are overall vibe killers? Consider going through your friends list and refining it to only being friends with people who you like. While we’re all guilty of loving a bit of drama every now and then, our happiness should always trump any goss.

Delete that f*boys number

And while you’re at it, all connections you have with him on social media. We know how difficult it is to cut ties with people you have feelings for, but if he is constantly making you upset and you’re losing confidence within yourself, it’s time to tell him “boy, bye”. By deleting these you’re lessening the temptation to text him, and opening yourself up for new relationships. As the quote goes, “a wound you always touch never heals,” the exact same goes for your relationships.

Frenemies

Nothing positive comes out of having friendships where everything is a competition and you have no trust. This isn’t Mean Girls, we’re all grown women and we should be supporting each other! A great way to test if you have a toxic friendship is to become aware how you feel when you’re around them. If you feel anxious and drained after spending time with them chances are they’re not the friend for you. Once you open yourself up to friendships where you feel supported, loved and you can be yourself, all aspects of your life will change for the better.

Let go of petty work drama

Unfortunately, some of us have to deal with co-workers that can bring us down. Whether they’re feeling insecure about their position or you feel are trying to sabotage your work efforts, sometimes it can all get a little too much. The best way to deal with this situation is to be the bigger person. Either calmly and respectively bring up your differences, or ignore their efforts to impact you. While at first that’s easier said than done, after time you’ll get used to it.

Forgive and let go

Nothing good comes out of holding grudges. You can’t expect to attract positive people into your life by holding onto past hurt. Once you let these go you’ll feel lighter and ready to slay in every aspect of your life in 2017.