Dating

Traditional Dating vs Online Dating

Written by

FlirtDatingArticle01

Welcome to the verge of 2016. A world where online realities are so real it's called life. We live in a time where you can order decadent desserts, sexy lingerie, adult toys, satin sheets and a hook up conveniently while lounging on the couch.

If you're feeling a little frisky you can have a bit of fun by chatting on platforms like Tinder or flirtfair to fulfill that urge. But is meeting someone online even remotely similar to meeting someone the old-fashion way such as at work, a party or even through friends?

With infinite options in the wide world of web how are we supposed to be authentic?

Is offline dating a thing of the past? With social media masking our true identity, do we become two different people? How is technology impacting our communication levels and does it challenge the way we interact in today's modern society?

Nowadays, instead of standing by the bar and eyeing off the passing talent, we're on our iPhones desperately searching for whose profile picture we're instantly attracted to.

Whether you're looking for a fling or something a little more serious, how you go about the initial introduction has changed. Once upon a time, there was a dating formula. Now it's a digital tangled web of options.

Here are some pros and cons on finding your way through the online-offline dating escapades.

Pro: The options

There's nothing more fun then having several guys fussing over you and giving you the attention. It puts you in the position of power to talk to as many or as few potential candidates without feeling needy. You're in control.

Con: The player

Though like above, the men you are talking to are probably doing the same. They're most likely going on 3-4 dates a week. They may be trying to get to know you only for a good time not a long time.

Pro: The ego boost

Online dating does aid in feeding the ego with flowing compliments. Sometimes a woman just needs to hear that she's amazing and sexy.

Con: The lies

The person on the other end of your online chat could be lying about their height, age, weight, gender and even the fact that they're single.

Pro: Convenience

No matter where you are or what you are doing, dating online is available at your convenience. It's a 24 hour platform where you can start mingling at the am or the pm or anywhere inbetween.

Con: It's time consuming

It's a cluttered world and it can become consuming. You could invest time into a particular person and never really know their true feelings.

In today's digital age, meeting someone traditionally or on the internet is your choice and every experience varies. Either way, eventually a relationship needs to come offline so you can make your digital ways a reality.

8 drama-infused road blocks you need to eliminate in 2016

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It was a bleak Saturday night. The company I was mingling with was a bit sour. The air was humid and the music lacked melody and sounded like white noise on repeat.

Irritated by everyone's lack of enthusiasm I decided to head outside for some fresh air, ironically in the smoker's section.

Thinking that I had escaped the crowd for a moment, I reached for my lighter and Iphone and settled back into the oversized bean bag. I closed my eyes and inhaled, acknowledging how infused with alcohol my body was and mentally drifted off with the cool breeze.

It only felt like a second when I was interrupted by a close friend asking me for a light. We began the usual chit chat but the conversation escalated quickly into an argument as I shared my views about an acquaintance we both mutually disliked.

I know this scenario seems utterly basic, but as I reflected on the situation the morning after, I realised that the entire evening was highly unnecessary. The drama, the exchanging of negative words and the unhealthy company - it was all tainting my happiness.

This epiphany brought me to realise 8 of the toxic things I don't want to take with me into 2016. It's time to say goodbye to drama-infused road blocks.

Validation
Often more times than not, we look at the ones around us for approval. It's time to change our thought processes and hone into owning who we are and not apologising for it.

Bad company
Say no to the people who make you mediocre. Of course being open minded is an important aspect to life, but there are certain people who are just bad for your vibe.

Boring places and spaces
Where you are seen regularly will have an affect on your mood, so expand your horizons and mix up your scenery. This way you won't suffer from the mundane and stepping out of your comfort zone means there is room for new opportunities.

Bad habits
It's time to break the routines that aren't doing you any good. Whether it be smoking, FOMO (fear of missing out) or the addiction to electronic devices, A.K.A. your phone, it's time to give yourself a break and get detached from the things that could be destroying you.

Routines
Stop being complacent. Live on the edge a little. Break those toxic habits. Enjoy life and see it for what it really is. Sometimes making minor changes to your daily routine can make for a better and even more beautiful day. For example, why not take a more scenic route to work, go for a walk on your lunch break or even treat yourself to a massage. Give yourself time to take in life.

Empty promises
Let go of the empty promises made by friends, family and even ones that you have made to yourself. The New Year calls for a fresh chapter, a blank page, a new beginning. Don't hold yourself back by looking back. It's time to start looking forward.

Negativity
Negativity can come in the form of music, books, social media, people, work and so much more. Sometimes the things that seem innocent can be damaging us the most. It's time to let go of the bad energy and harness only the good.

Painful memories
Say goodbye to the broken dreams that are stunting your growth. Just because a plan didn't work out, doesn't mean that there isn't a better one out their for you. Broken dreams are meant to be restored and sometimes they're altered for a better purpose. Either way, don't give up just get up and keep pushing forward.

Words: Anonymous

4 truths about the pain of a fling fantasy

Written by

AloneFling01

Yup, you read the title right. A 'fling fantasy', because at the end of the day isn't that what it is? There's a little something here on the side, there's no pressure, it's all based on convenience and no one has any expectations other than the present.

But that's why it's a silent killer, the ghost in the night, the emptiness that leaves you questioning 'what if'. When you're in the middle of a fling nothing really matters until you're forced into a reality of being alone. He has moved on, found someone else to fling around with or moves to another state like it's no big deal. Then you're dropped on the pavement of reality, your hearts somehow shattered into a million-and-one pieces and you awake to an overwhelming array of emotions which resembles a broken heart.

You think to yourself, WTF, I never saw this coming! How did he weave himself into my life and leave an emptiness behind?

But that's the problem, he filled you (in more ways than one) and now there's a void.

Even if the time you spent together was brief, those moments were glorious and unforgettable. And that thought alone is what brings us to the four truths about the pain of a fling fantasy:

He's your legal high

You're bored of mediocre sex, over dating other guys, looking to experiment without the judgment and hoping to find some form of fulfillment in someone else's arms. That's where he steps in and becomes your high. Like any addiction, they start somewhere and slowly creep up on you taking over your life. Well, he has done just that and you were never prepared for it. Now it's time to face the withdrawals.

He released your inner sex goddess

At the beginning there was no pressure. You both could explore, experience and become whoever you wanted be in the bedroom. It was freeing, sexy and oh-so satisfying. You've found your perfect lover for behind closed doors, his wild side matched yours and that is whats left you gutted.

He's the first one to reject you unofficially

At least when you're in a relationship, you (hopefully) know when's the right time to let your guard down. Unfortunately, because this was an unofficial situation, he has only seen the perfect parts of you. So when the fling-ends the-fling it's seriously the worst feeling in the world. REJECTION in the most ugliest form. How could only the pretty and pleasant parts of you that were on show, be the very part of you that he turns away?

Your left with the 2 famous words: WHAT IF

What if, what if, what if. Those two words circle around your head for what feels like eternity. There's no closure, there's only questions. So you can't help but to wonder if you did this, or said that, or gave him more or less would it change the outcome? Was any of it even real? Did he feel what you felt?

And there's no way to ever know the truth.

The passion, the fun, the effortlessness of it all had you wrapped in a moment. So there's no need to panic about the pain. If you felt something for him then own that in your heart. Find your own kind of closure.

After all, flings are meant to be fun right?

7 things every woman does after a first bad date

Written by

DatingGif08

Two words: Bad. Date.

As hopeless romantics in a city of over 2 million people, going on at least one bad date in a lifetime is inevitable.

With men not being gentlemen these days and technology being a major distraction, sadly date-doom is bound to happen.

But what’s more disappointing is that we put a decent amount of effort into our appearance. We buy the new jaw-dropping outfit, spend two hours on hair and makeup, shave our bodies hairless and then – slip into our sexiest pair of stilettos. We spend the evening strutting our stuff trying to look effortless though we are in an undeniable amount of pain and discomfort.

After we’ve dressed to slay, the date takes an unexpected turn and the guy becomes a regrettable encounter. Maybe he chooses the wrong restaurant, or maybe he pays more attention to the waitress, or maybe he says something too controversial. Either way, he crosses the line and you realise you deserve better.

Quickly it's deemed as a bad date and you now have to suffer from the consequences of developing feelings. Without question, you have to come down from your high and deal with the withdrawal symptoms of crushed hopes for a potential love story.

It’s always a nice little rollercoaster ride when someone takes an interest in you but when it ends ... there’s always a sting. But how you recover from it will define you.

Which brings us to the top 7 things a woman does when she tries to recover from a bad date.

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1. Call your girlfriends and have a (b*tchfest) de-brief
The girls get it. They love you and sometimes that’s all you need to hear. Plus, the extra assurance of hearing how amazing you are does help boost your ego.

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2. Stalk your exes on Facebook
Not sure why we do this, maybe it’s the need to find something familiar or something to compare the disappointment too. Maybe fueling the pain is the one thing that helps us heal?

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3. Text the ex
It’s that weak moment where you spend about 45 minutes constructing the perfect text message to send your ex. But you end up spending another 10 minutes fighting with yourself on whether or not to press send. Finally, on the hour, you press delete because you realise it is a mistake in the making.

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4. Take way too many selfies
Let’s be honest, you’ve arrived home from a bad date but you still look fabulous. Your makeup is on point, your hair is rocking those VS curls, and that dress is hugging your curves in the right places. There is nothing else to do other than take a fresh bunch of selfies ... and join Tinder.

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5. Freak out on Tinder
After you’ve spent 25 minutes perfecting your Tinder profile and another 45 minutes swiping left, you freak out! You find yourself wondering why on earth you are in this situation. Why did you join the Tinder world? You can just feel the desperation on every level.

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6. Get your food on
Order greasy Chinese food, pour yourself a glass of white wine and binge watch Sex and the City. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda are your soul sisters because they totally understand what you are going through.

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7. Suck it up
Quote the wise words by Elizabeth Taylor, "Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."

You never know, Mr. Amazing may be right around the corner, but for now it's time to perfect that hair flick, because hunny ... you are fabulous!

Why Carrie Bradshaw is the woman we shouldn't want to be

Written by

DontBeCarrie01

More times than I can count, I've compared my girlfriend circles to the controversial characters in Sex in the City and not so secretly I've almost hoped that I was of course, Carrie Bradshaw.

But what was the reason behind my obsession with the woman who never had her life together? It was the illusion of a dream wardrobe, fabulous outfits, a footwear addiction like no other, tall lattes, endless strolls through a city that never sleeps and countless flirtatious encounters.

She was the hopeful romantic, cute in her ways and repeatedly vulnerable for an extraordinary story.

Comparing Carrie to her other three best friends, she always appeared far more relatable. But if you observe on a deeper level, she was a mess. And ultimately, she is the woman I never want to be.

Miranda for example was strong, confident and totally dominant in a male driven industry.

Samantha, though a man-eater was totally in control of her sex life. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it. She wouldn't settle for anything less than perfect (well, her kind of perfect).

Finally, there was Charlotte, innocent and sweet with her ladylike tendencies. She for a fact, was the character I never wanted to resemble.

But as I looked deeper, her ways were similar to Samantha, the only difference was she was a little more delicate.

You see, Charlotte knew what she wanted and she was determined to get it, she wanted the white picket fence, the adult apartment and perfect love story. Even though she met a lot of mistakes she never settled.

As of late, I decided to re-watch the Sex and the City series - from start to finish.

I felt like I could indulge in the escapades and affairs and hopefully be re-enlightened and inspired ... but I was quickly disappointed.

Carrie Bradshaw was always letting something BIGger taint her. From the start she wouldn't stand up to Mr. Big. It was a toxic cycle of emotional abuse and triggers that would always take her back to the same place.

She couldn't let go and she didn't want to. And that was her problem.

This iconic woman who I adored was the push over, the nice girl and the woman no one wants to be.

I'm sorry if I've ruined aspirational dreams here, but I think someone needed to point this out. We've been a blinded society of females who have worshiped her and the men she's screwed. But in all honesty, she was the picture of a distorted reality of love.

How do we recover from a regrettably flirtatious encounter?

Fliratious02

It all started last Friday night. After a stressful week of deadlines, over-indulging and dating drama, I was ready to shake off the blues with an alcoholic concoction.

I found myself at 11:30pm with a small group of friends at a local bar where Christmas staff parties filled the room.

After pushing through the intoxicated crowd, I left the bar with my something gin and something floral cocktail. As I was walking back to join my friends, I couldn’t help but notice the desperation that filled the air.

I froze in the middle of the room only to see potential mistakes. I’m usually a positive soul, but that night was different.

To my left was a pretty young thing who had 3 men eating out of the palms of her hands. She had the power to have her pick, but fast forward 5 hours later, I’m curious to know which one she chose to take home – if any.

To my right were two sexually frustrated co-workers who had been lusting over each other for months. Tonight was their chance, a potentially drunken mistake or maybe the beginning of something special? Fast-forward 6 hours later and I wondered if it ended up being an awkward mess or the start of love. Ultimately, I would have really liked to see how Monday morning turns out for them at the office.

Then 3 metres away, directly in front of me was my mistake. The guy I had drunk-flirted with last Saturday night.

Let me explain last week’s scenario. Sadly it all crept up on me a bit too quickly. It was a night out with the girls. I was in the mindset of being young, single and free. Over a few too many drinks, we had discussed monogamy, sexual droughts, threesomes and our favourite quotes from Sex and the City. In the middle of our empowerment ramblings we took a shot and then, coincidently I ran into that guy – someone I’m not attracted to. But through wine-eyes I was left a little vulnerable and not entirely in control of my flirtatious nature. And that is how I made the mistake of giggling with someone who quickly became smitten by my singleness.

Even though the conversation was innocent and no one exchanged lips or digits, my actions were misinterpreted and now I have to pay for it.

In my mind, I thought I would never see him again in a city of over 2 million people, but ironically that night he was there. I couldn’t escape his excitement, it was written all over his nervous smile. There he was hoping that tonight, he may be able to seal the deal. I on the other hand was in absolute regrets - awkward and totally uncomfortable.

Which left me thinking, as women how do we redeem ourselves after a misinterpreted flirtatious encounter?

How many times have we as women simply given someone attention and sadly it has been assumed that we're handing out a hall pass?

Why can’t we just laugh, smile or dance like no one is watching without that meaning that we are trying to lead someone on?

After the mistake has been made, here are 33 thoughts every woman has as she travels from regret to flirtatious redemption.

1. What just happened?
2. Surely I wasn’t that flirtatious?
3. I didn’t mean what I said.
4. Oh no, I remember touching his knee.
5. Why did I giggle so much?
6. I’m never drinking again.
7. Actually, I am going to drink again.
8. But when I drink, I’m not going to talk to any guys.
9. No wait, I do want to talk to guys.
10. Maybe it was the red wine.
11. If I had been drinking, beer then this wouldn’t have happened.
12. I hate beer. As if I would drink beer.
13. I hate myself for doing this.
14. What are my girlfriends going to think?
15. Are they judging me?
16. Hopefully they didn’t see me with him.
17. Nope, they saw me with him – they were sitting next to us.
18. I seriously need to stop flirting.
19. Is there a flirt management class out there that I should attend?
20. I can’t change the past.
21. Why did I make this mistake?
22. But is it a mistake?
23. Can’t I just have fun and be me?
24. But I always do this to myself.
25. I have a track record of at least one accidental flirtatious encounter per night out.
26. Whoooops.
27. Maybe I should stop going out all together?
28. You know what, who cares.
29. Of course it’s a misunderstanding.
30. If I see him again, I’ll just have to apologise and be honest for my actions.
31. But what I’m not going to apologise for, is being me – flirtatious and all.
32. People can just love me or leave me. Unless I don’t want you to love me, which in that case – please just leave me.
33. Oh well, until the next soiree, I’ll just try to keep things a little more reserved.

Words: Anonymous

How to survive a hot summer fling and prevent a broken heart

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Romantic flings are one of the best parts of a summer holiday, except for one small detail... they come with an expiration date. For some, that is what makes it so enticing! A summer fling is a time for adventure with no ties attached.

To spare you the heartbreak this summer, we have collated a guide of dos and don’ts for a fun fling!


DO wear sexy lingerie

This is your time to be as wild as you want! Remember your fling doesn’t know the real you, so you can be whoever you want.

DON’T expect anything

A summer fling is just that ... a fling, something you can get rid of as soon as it gets boring. Keep it light and don’t expect anything emotionally from your fling.

DO rock your curves and embrace summer trends

Don’t be afraid to show some skin! Own your summer body on the beach or poolside in a bikini or sexy one piece. Just because this is not a guy you are getting serious with does not mean you can’t still dress to impress. The hottest fashion trend you have to wear this summer is the effortlessly cool slip dress. Pair your slip dress with stylish flats and oversized sunglasses for the day or dress it up with strappy heels and statement earrings for the evening.

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Zimmermann, Rhythm Scrunch Slip Dress $395.00
Zimmermann, Ladder V Dress $350.00
Zimmermann, Empire Slip Dress $395.00

DON’T get attached

Whatever you do, DO NOT feel 'the feels’! No matter how cute he is, remind yourself that there is little chance of a future with your summer fling.

DO play with the bad boys

Experiment with your taste in men because hey, you won’t be dating him for long!

DON’T be afraid to call it quits

If your summer fling sizzles out, just call it quits.

DO get off social media

The ‘it didn’t really happen if it wasn’t on Instagram’ rule does not apply to a summer fling. Live in the moment and forget about your social media accounts. Plus, no social media evidence will make it so much easier to get over your fling post-summer.


Words: Frances van Eeden

Commitment woes you’re sure to have in your 20s

CommitWoes01

It’s time to bring up the dreaded C word... Yep we’re talking about commitment!

Commitment, be it to relationships or life decisions, is a scary thought for some. During our twenties, most of us are just trying to navigate our way through life and avoid life changing decisions. If I can’t even decide what I want for dinner, how on earth am I supposed to commit to what I want out of life?!

These are the top four obligations you’re sure to face in your twenties that will give you commitment phobia!

Committing to a real relationship

While the idea of a loving relationship might be enticing, making the decision to be exclusive in a relationship can be scary. Your twenties is one of the only times in life where you can be completely selfish. Being in a committed relationship means you need to compromise and consider your partner’s needs over what you want. The truth is, relationships aren’t easy; whether it is sexual, friendship or family, all relationships require hard work.

Signing your first employment contract

Sure, most of us have been working at our local cafés and bars since our teenage years but there’s something about signing a long-term contract that can be daunting. Committing to a career not only means you are accountable for your actions, but you have to stick with your decision even if it is not exactly as you expected.

Committing to a healthy lifestyle change

Gone are the days where you can eat whatever you want - and drink as much as you want - without it affecting your body. Whether you decide to try a paleo diet or sign up to a gym, sticking to healthy habits can be really hard... especially when it is 2 am in the morning and all you can think of is a greasy cheeseburger.

Signing a lease

Once you finally find that dream semi-affordable apartment, you will most likely have to lock in a contract for a period of time. Whether it is six months or a year, committing to live somewhere (or with someone) when you don’t know what your future holds is not an easy task.

We want to know what commitment woes you have faced? {jcomments on}


Words: Frances van Eeden

7 things Samantha Jones taught us about sex

We love each of the girls in their own way, but there's no denying Samantha Jones put the sex in Sex and the City! While Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda were looking for Mr. Right (or trying for the 100th time with Mr. Big), Samantha gallivanted across New York without a care in the world, which often resulted in cringe-worthy situations. Samantha being Samantha however, always has the right comeback and has taught us valuable lessons under the cover.

1. Don’t slip the L word too early... especially not if the sex IS good!

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2. You are in control of your own pleasure.

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3. Waiting doesn’t necessarily mean you will have a happily ever after.

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4. Just because things are intimate doesn’t mean you need to blurt out feelings you both might regret later.

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5. Get your relationship priorities straight!

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6. The foreplay sets the scene.

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7. You don’t have to define your sexuality!

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Words: Frances van Eeden

7 poisonous things single people are tired of hearing

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I'm single, a boss b#tch and I earn a six figure salary. I'm what you call 'intimidating' to a swipe right driven society. I'm told that I'm too confident, too independent and too fierce to be holding hands with anything other than my iPhone and Birkin bag. 

Which brings me to question, why am I being looked at as an outcast because I chose to be career driven and goal orientated? I'm approaching my thirties and I'm constantly probed as to why I don't have a ring on my finger. Since when did my relationship status bother anybody other than me? 

Not only am I going to be blatantly honest about the questions people ask and think but I'm also going to give you a few things to consider when this situation occurs. 

At the end of the day, when it comes to being in a relationship or being single or whatever ones preference is, these are the top 7 things that should never be questioned because quite frankly, they annoy the sh#t out of people like you and me. 

Does my vagina still work?

Of course it does. We live in 2015 people, if I wanted to have sex, then I would, if I don't - then the last time I checked, I had a purple battery operated friend who can help me out in that department.

Am I sleeping with everyone? 

Just because I'm not committed right now doesn't mean I spread my legs easily (but so what if I did, it's my choice and my body)

Am I lonely?

Everyone gets lonely. But in a world of technology there's hundreds of apps to download where I can strike up random conversations.

Am I too complicated? 

Maybe, but don't mix my singleness with being too stuck up to date men. Have you ever thought that maybe I've made a choice not to settle for an arsehole?

Am I worried about my eggs?

Please give me a break. Kids or no kids, I'll figure that out when I'm ready.

Am I the marrying type?

Seriously, this is no ones concern. When and if I choose to marry is completely my business. But right now I'm totally OK with being married to my career.

Am I happy?

Happiness isn't just found in a man. Let me leave you with this quote by Carrie Bradshaw, "Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

Words: Anonymous 

I'm single, a boss b#tch and I earn a six figure salary. I'm what you call 'intimidating' to a swipe right driven society. I'm told that I'm too confident, too independent and too fierce to be holding hands with anything other than my iPhone and Birkin bag. 

 

Which brings me to question, why am I being looked at as an outcast because I chose to be career driven and goal orientated? I'm approaching my thirties and I'm constantly probed as to why I don't I have a ring on my finger. Since when did my relationship status bother anybody other than me? 

 

Not only am I going to be blatantly honest about the questions people ask and think but I'm also going to give you a few things to consider when this situation occurs. 

 

At the end of the day, when it comes to being in a relationship or being single or whatever ones preference is, these are the top 7 things that should never be questioned because quite frankly, they annoy the sh#t out of people like you and me. 

 

Does my vagina still work?

Of course it does. We live in 2015 people, if I wanted to have sex, then I would, if I don't - then last time I checked, I had a purple battery operated friend who can help me out in that department.

 

Am I sleeping with everyone? 

Just because I'm not committed right now doesn't mean I spread my legs easily (but so what if I did, it's my choice and my body)

 

Am I lonely?

Everyone gets lonely. But in a world of technology there's hundreds of apps to download where I can strike up random conversations.

 

Am I too complicated? 

Maybe, but don't mix my singleness with being too stuck up to date men. Have you ever thought that maybe I've made a choice not to settle for an arsehole?

 

Am I worried about my eggs?

Please give me a break. Kids or no kids, I'll figure that out when I'm ready.

 

Am I the marrying type?

Seriously, this is no ones concern. When and if I choose to marry is completely my business. But right now I'm totally OK with being married to my career.

 

Am I happy?

Happiness isn't just found in a man. Let me leave you with this quote by Carrie Bradshaw, "Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

 

Words: Anonymous 

Top 21 Carrie Bradshaw quotes on men and the single life struggles

Written by

CBQuote07

Sex and the City has given us life. A near 20 years later, young and old are still obsessing over the sheer wisdom and blatant truths that were spoken by the greats.

Carrie Bradshaw was of course the leader of the pack and her words still resonate with with women worldwide, which is why we needed to recap on her struggles with dating and men in general.

The single road doesn't come without its challenges but the oh-so fabulous Carrie Bradshaw is about to make it a whole lot easier. The underlying truth is that not a lot has changed when it comes to dating men. The waiting game, the ex, the lack of action, the mixed emotions - it goes without saying that we've all thought like Carrie at least once in our lives.

1. "I need to have sex. It's been too long."

2. "How can I marry a guy who doesn't know which ring is me?"

3. "Men I may not know, but shoes, shoes I know."

4. "I need to feel the weight of a man on top of me."

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5. "I pick the wrong men."

6. "Maybe I've dated men who were wrong for me, but who hasn't."

7. "I often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife ... But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck."

8. "You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it."

9. "A guy doesn't call you for three days and you're ugly?"

10. "Why is it the woman that has to change and never the guy?"

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11. "He has a past, I have a past. Do our pasts really have to have a present?

12. "I need time to decompress, just be alone."

13. "It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then. To make the walk a little more fun."

14. "I'm someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

15. "I'd like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs."

16. "When men attempt bold gestures, it's generally considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho."

17. "We keep dresses we'll never wear again, but we throw away our ex-boyfriends.

18. "This isn't romance, this is bullshit."

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19. Single and fabulous, exclamation point."

20. "Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high."

21. "Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

Why TINDER is tainting traditional dating

Written by

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Feel free to argue with me all you like but I can't believe how disturbingly difficult it is to date online.

Personally, I have an extremely busy social schedule. That is why online dating doesn't really fit well with me. I communicate with people daily and when I get home the last thing I want to do is 'get to know' somebody online. But I have to say, my curiosity did get the better of me. All of this hype around Tinder did prove to be thought provoking.

A few months ago, I ran into an old friend and he introduced me to his girlfriend. We had a few drinks and I asked them about how they met. They both replied, "Tinder." I was gobsmacked. All I could say in reply was, "Oh my god, I've met my first real Tinder love story."

But the good news doesn't end there, my best friend told me about one of her girlfriends who locks in three to four dates a week just by using the app. And my beauty therapist told me about her client who is packing up her whole life and moving to another state because she has found the man of her dreams.

So I had been fed these positive stories and I thought maybe I had been missing out on something fun and special. Who knows where it could go?

I decided to take a step of courage and I downloaded the app and set up my profile. I had a quick look at what other people do and I customised my own.

Now truthfully, my Facebook profile is quite professional which means I don't have a lot of 'fun' photos on there. They're usually of me in my working element at social events. Though my pics are nice (that's what I think anyway) they are quite 'serious'.

But I thought, I have to work with what I have and I'm not changing to impress anyone. This is me and surely they will accept the woman that I am. So I put three photos up of the 'serious' me and my profile description said something like: 'Food. Family. Fashion.'

Then the fun began ... swiping. After an hour of going through the distressful talent in a 25km radius I swiped right for 5 guys.

And then I waited. And waited. And, I was still waiting.

Three days later after repeating the above I still had nothing. No one matched with me.

I thought to myself, "This can't be the case? What's wrong with me?"

I had to ring the girls and ask them if I had done something wrong.

They all agreed that my photos were 'intimidating.' That they represented 'the working woman, the fashion obsessed" and that I came off 'high maintenance'.

I disagreed with them but I also acknowledged that this was a social experiment and it would be fascinating to see how things could be different if I changed up my 'look.'

That weekend I went out and took selfies. Yup, I tried the fish gape, played with the lighting and different filters and finally came up with more approachable and fun photos.

It was really hard work! I wasn't ready for the effort that came with presenting myself to the world the way they wanted to see me.

Anyway, I ended up uploading these new pics and I wrote my profile description as, "I love red wine, real talks and random moments. I dislike pick up lines, ping pong and patrone."

Within one hour, I had 25 matches and 15 conversations on the go.

But most of the conversations started with hideous pick up lines, including this shocker, "You look like you would go off like a frog in a sock." Or "I want to bang you like I just banged my big toe."

The other conversations quickly dwindled as they lacked any form of depth.

I sat their and I asked myself is this exactly what the dating world has come to? Quick fixes, superficial swipes, short attention spans and the vanity of looks rather than getting to know someone for who they really are?

As I was deep in thought, this guy decided to ask me out on a date. I replied with, "Wow, I've never gotten this far. I'm not sure. I don't really know you yet."

His reply was, "Are you a robot?"

I think this pretty much sums up why Tinder has ruined my perspective on online dating.

For now, I'm going to stick to my serious photos, busy social calendar and meeting men in real time in the real world.

If you've had a shocking Tinder story, I would love to hear about it. Comment below or email me at stacey@fashionweekly.com.au.

Stay tuned for our next story on Tinder Confessions. {jcomments on}