Dating

The trials and tribulations of dating in 2016

Couple dating

With the holidays and New Year celebrations far behind us and the pace of daily life back to full speed, there’s a good chance this fresh start has bought with it the strong desire for change and the opening of a new chapter of your life. For many of us, that’s going to include joining or re-joining the dating game in an effort to finding the safe and secure love each and every one of us desires and, importantly, deserves.

If you spend enough years as a relationship coach like me and you will see the patterns of human behaviour. Our drives and motivations are shared ones which means this is a busy and exciting time for me as I work with singles who are keen to hit the romance accelerator.

But a word of caution. Years of good quality research have developed our understanding of falling in love-experiences are both psychological and biological. As a result, our bodies influence our decisions and this has both benefits and risks. You have probably heard of the love and attachment hormones like oxytocin and neurotransmitters and dopamine and serotonin that are released when we are potential partners. These powerful chemicals have potent effects on the body, sometimes dramatically affecting our thoughts, feelings and our behaviours so it’s important to be aware of this and to be mindful not to get too caught up with what you are feeling. Using good sense and the “thinking” part of the brain to focus that little bit harder on your current love interest or date is always recommended. Simply put, its always useful to take a couple of steps back from your feelings and think as well as feel.

Model couple hugging

Reflecting on my coaching work with people from all walks of life over the last year I have distilled three key considerations for those who want to fine tune their dating plan for 2016.

1. Centre yourself – It’s normal to be carrying a high level of anxiety when dating. There are all sorts of reasons but one is the worry about what the other person thinks of you. Try to arrive for a new meeting with someone in a state of calm centeredness. Use meditation (mindfulness phone apps are useful for this), use positive self-talk or even better, have an appointment with your therapist just before a date. Anxiety and our efforts to manage it in stressful situations distracts us from really seeing the person in front of us and it also limits our capacity to read the positive (or negative) cues and signals that tell you if he or she is the right fit for you.

2. Don’t stay “virtual” for too long – When we start with digital dating our feelings for someone develop before we have even met but we haven’t been able to fully ‘read’ them face-to-face. You need to meet and see your potential love interest in person fairly soon to be able to read them to see if you are both a good fit, and of course if it feels right. Don’t let online chat or back and forward text exchanges go on for weeks before you meet.

3. Check in with what you are feeling - ask yourself often, does this feel safe and secure? Does this love interest or date ask questions about me? Do they look at me in a way that is pleasing? Are they curious about who I am? Do I feel trust? Does how they look or smell appeal to me? Do they look comfortable in their own skin? Does this person speak about their past positively and if it’s not positive have they made sense of it and how it has shaped them in relationship today?

All these questions need to be considered as they provide the kind information you need to form a mature choice about the person you may want to spend your life with.

Enjoy it, dating can be so much fun. Put on your seat belt, strap yourself in tight and keep your wits about you but above all...take in the ride!

MellissaCoach01Melissa Ferrari is a Relational Psychotherapist, Relationship Therapist and Dating Coach in Sydney. She has been a specialist in the field for over 18 years and has worked with many people to help them live more fulfilling, passionate and happy lives. She helps transform people by working with them individually in a private practice and in her one or two day workshops. Melissa works with both individuals and couples. She has a great passion in working with people who are looking for love with authenticity and mindfulness. Melissa’s curiosity, while asking way too many questions is often part of the mix that helps create change in the people she works with!

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Boost your confidence for dating success this Valentine's Day

Couple kissing on Valentine's day

Are you tired of being alone on Valentine’s Day? Is shyness stopping you from meeting new people, going on dates or having a successful relationship?


Shyness vs Confidence

Shyness is a state of being reserved, bashful, timid or withdrawn from participating in life. People who are shy find it challenging to strike up a conversation and feel less comfortable around people. In contrast, confidence is a positive emotion that reflects your level of self-belief. The greater your belief in yourself, the greater your level of self-esteem and confidence. With confidence we feel more comfortable to meet new people, go on dates and to speak our minds in a relationship.

Here are two ways to overcome shyness and low self-esteem, and to boost your confidence:

Stop sabotaging yourself

Girl with flowers on Valentine's day

Any time you undermine yourself and your success, or you hinder, prevent, or undo your work, you are sabotaging yourself either consciously or subconsciously. A common way that people sabotage their dates and relationships is with their self communication. The first step to understanding whether you are tainting your dates and relationships is to become aware of what you are saying. Positive self-talk encourages strong levels of confidence, while negative self-talk sabotages our confidence.

Take a moment to think about the last few dates or times you were with your partner. What did you say to yourself as you thought about going on a date, during your date, or when spending time with your partner? Were you encouraging of yourself (e.g. I look great in this dress) or were you putting yourself down (e.g. I hope I don’t say something embarrassing).

Write down everything that comes to mind. Then look at this list. Any negative self-talk reflects beliefs which will limit us (e.g. I am not good enough/perfect, I don’t deserve a great relationship, etc). This is also what causes us to have self-doubts, insecurities and low self-esteem. When you remove limiting beliefs at the subconscious level this permanently turns negative self talk into a positive, which boosts your confidence and self-esteem. In the meantime, be aware of your self-talk and consciously turn any negativity into a positive.

Regain lost confidence

Couple piggy backing on Valentine's day

Most people have had confidence at one time or another, then lost it. For example, we may have had a number of awkward dates or a series of relationship break-ups or rejections. We could have taken these experiences too personally, which then affected us. Even models, actors and celebrities lose confidence from time to time. The key is to know how to bounce back from these experiences and to regain what you lost.

Most people feel more confident in some areas than others. Think about past or recent situations where you have felt strong levels of confidence. Perhaps you felt most assured when you had success at work, playing sport, were with close friends or when you are talking about a familiar topic.

The good news is that if you have ever felt confident in any prior situation, you can feel it again. All you need to do is to recall that situation when you wish to feel confident again. To feel that boost on your next date or the next time you are with your partner, simply reflect on a time that you felt emporwered. Then as you remember that moment while with your date or partner, you will start to feel the confidence moving in again.

Enjoy using the above tips to boost your confidence and self-esteem this Valentine’s Day and watch your relationship blossom.

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Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit www.qttransformation.com

Ó Qt, 2000 – 2016. All Rights Reserved.

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When you’re getting too hooked on your hook-up

We ladies tend to overthink everything and have a need to define every situation. It’s just what we do.

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with benefits

We don’t NEED a man to define us and we LIKE intoxicated casual hook-up’s, as long as we know exactly what we are getting into.

But what happens when you hook-up more than once and you have to pretend, that even though you have late night chats and meet up whenever one of you are lonely, feelings aren’t involved... and defining this situation doesn’t matter. When the truth is, even if you aren’t looking for a long-term relationship, it can be tough not knowing what exactly that continuous hook-up means.

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with benefits

If there’s one thing we learnt from Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake in ‘Friends With Benefits’, it is that although a casual relationship where you hang out as friends and have wild sex is super appealing, keeping your feelings separated is probably not going to work.

Here’s how to know what your sex-capade means and what your emotions are getting you into:

Intimate hook-up: You pretend not to care about whether he is seeing someone else.

Casual hook-up: You don’t give a cr*p what he does with his time.

Intimate hook-up: You consider him a friend, someone you enjoy spending time and sharing random thoughts with.

Casual hook-up: You don’t care to spend any time with him before or after your hook-up and never think about texting him ‘just to talk’.

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with benefits

Intimate hook-up: You find yourself frustrated-ly trying to explain the situation to your friends... and they just don’t get it.

Casual hook-up: You don’t care whether your friends judge you for hooking up with him.

Intimate hook-up: You get excited when his name flashes on your phone... especially if it is before 10pm.

Casual hook-up: "What, why the hell is he texting me in the daylight hours!?"

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with benefits

Intimate hook-up: You grab some food, see a movie or cuddle after hooking up.

Casual hook-up: Hello and bye is the extent of your conversation.

Intimate hook-up: He is a priority in your life.

Casual hook-up: He’s rarely on your mind.

Intimate hook-up: You feel like you can be your silly-self with him.

Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman in No Strings Attached


Words: Frances van Eeden

14 Relatable Quotes from GIRLS that are #life in your 20s

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We are hooked on HBO's show GIRLS. It's like a non-glamorous, totally relatable and down-to-earth take on Sex and The City (don't be confused we are still very loyal to SATC too!). There is something so 'real' about the show and the trials and fails of its characters. 

If, like us, you find yourself going 'RIIIIIGHT' or 'I totally get this' throughout the episodes, you will love these GIRLS quotes that are #liferightnow for any twenty-something. 

1. “I don’t even want a boyfriend. I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me.” – Hannah

2. “I think I’m definitely a Carrie at heart, but sometimes...sometimes Samantha kind of comes out. And then, when I’m at school, I definitely try to put on my Miranda hat.” – Shoshanna

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3. “I am okay. I may not seem okay, and I may not be okay now, but I am, like, OKAY.” – Marnie.

4. “I’m attracted to everyone when I first meet them. And then it wears off. It always wears off.” – Jessa

5. “I really care about you and I don’t want to anymore because it feels too shitty for me.” – Hannah

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6. “I can’t be surrounded by your negativity while I’m trying to grow into a fully formed woman.” – Shoshanna

7. “You know what the weirdest part about having a job is? You have to be there every day, even on days you don’t feel like it.” – Jessa

8. “Guys, we’re so disconnected now. I thought that this would be a good opportunity to have fun together and prove to everyone via Instagram that we can still have fun as a group.” – Marnie

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9. “When we are together, he’s so there, and he’s so present, and then... he disappears for 2 weeks, and doesn’t answer any of my text messages, and I feel as though I invented him.” – Hannah

10. “It’s really liberating to say no to sh*t you hate.” – Hannah

11. “Sometimes being stuck in my own head is so exhausting that it makes me want to cry.” – Marnie

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12. “I don’t hate your friends. I’m just not interested in anything they have to say.” – Adam

13. “I just wish someone would tell me, like, ‘This is how the rest of your life should look.’” – Marnie

14. [To her parents] “I could be a drug addict. Do you know how lucky you are?” – Hannah

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Words: Frances van Eeden

5 Things we want men to know about dating a #girlboss

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Dating is damn hard! Between your dedication to your job, keeping up with friends and making time for yourself, it can be a difficult task to find the one that perfectly complements you. Dating is even harder when you are an ‘alpha female’...


Alpha female: a confident, ambitious, strong-willed woman.


When it comes to men and their issues, they are often intimated by our confidence and no-nonsense attitudes, but now and then a keeper comes along who likes the way you take control of every situation.

If you want me earn me

For the sake of every independent woman out there trying to find the yin to her yang, here are 5 things we want men to know about dating a #girlboss:

1. We actually like when you take charge

That whole “but what would YOU like to eat/do/see" thing does not excite us, in fact, it’s just irritating. We need a man who moves at our pace, someone who is not afraid to take control. So don't hesitate to book a restaurant of your own choice and pick the movie.

2. We want to see you stand your ground

Don’t be a push over. Yeah, we like to think we’re always right but we need someone who challenges our opinions and calls us out on our bullsh*t when necessary. Being able to have arguments and work through them is the basis of any healthy relationship... plus the make-up sex is always fantastic!

3. We need our space but that doesn’t mean we aren’t into you

We have worked hard to be where we are in life and we won’t be putting that all aside for you. Rather than texting us every minute we’re apart, which btw comes across as super needy, give us the space we need. It will only have us more interested and excited to see you again.

4. Patience is a virtue

We will be the first to admit that we can at times be hot-headed and react without thinking things through. Hey, no one is perfect! We look for qualities in a significant other that will balance out our flaws. Therefore your calm nature will balance out our, at times, irrational reactions.

5. Change things up and take the lead when it comes to the bedroom

We love being in control of all aspects of our lives but honestly, it can be exhausting! Surprise us in the bedroom by taking charge.


Words: Frances van Eeden

7 TV Shows every single girl needs to binge watch

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Sure, there are many emotional downsides to not having a significant other. But there sure as hell are some major advantages too! Like not caring that you’re about to eat your fifth slice of pizza, or that you haven’t shaved in a few days weeks.

Riding solo also means you don’t have to feel guilty about spending all your downtime in bed binge-watching these 7 addictive shows.


The relatable comedy: The Mindy project

You WILL laugh until your tummy hurts through the many disastrous dates of Dr. Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling – who we love) on her quest to find love. Kaling, being the ultimate #girlboss, is the creator, producer, writer and main character of this romantic comedy. The show is weirdly relatable, honest and highly addictive.

The Mindy project


The #truth drama: GIRLS

Hannah (Lena Dunham) considers herself the “voice of her generation”. The show follows Hannah, along with her gang of weird but relatable friends, Shoshanna, Marnie and Jessa, through their everyday lives of boy drama, life challenges and self-acceptance.

GIRLS is unlike any other drama and will have you so emotionally attached you will laugh along with the characters and cry through their heartbreaks.

GIRLS


The fashion filled classic: Sex and The City

Sex and The City (SATC) need no intro and if it does, well shame on you! The show, set in the 90s and early 2000s, follows the lives of writer Carrie Bradshaw and her group of friends Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. Think New York city life, extravagant outfits, endless relationship drama and hot sex scenes.

Sex and The City


The suspenseful drama: Scandal

Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) is Washington D.C’s always glamorous ‘fixer’. Pope, along with her team of ‘warriors’, is the woman you call when you want a problem to disappear. The show features a lust-worthy wardrobe, a great sense of female empowerment, hunky men and a steamy love triangle (or rather a square) and (our favourite) frequent appearances of sizable wine glasses... must remember to get our hands on those.

Scandal


The small-town drama: One Tree Hill

We would totally suggest binge watching seasons 1-4 of this addictive high school drama. It covers all the anticipation of teen-life from friendships, relationships, family drama and dealing with loss and love.

One Tree Hill


The corporate drama: Suits

Stunning high-end designer fashion and impeccably tailored suits... plus impeccably chiselled jawbones. What’s not to love?

Suits


The sitcom: New Girl

Jess (Zooey Deschanel) is so odd that it feels normal. If you’ve ever considered yourself more comfortable around your guy pals than a group of girls you will totally relate to New Girl.

New Girl


Words: Frances van Eeden

7 Ways to make your quickies seriously AH-MAZING!

These seven tips will take your quickies from blah to ahh... quick!

Couple having quickie

1. Foreplay is always essential

Sexting is a great way to unleash your inner flirt and build that anticipation that is sure to cause fireworks when you finally get to be together.

Girl in office with leg up

2. Secretly wear something super sexy

Surprise your partner with a super sexy yet super unexpected lingerie set under your usual outfit.

Rebel Wilson ripping off top

3. Don't be afraid to talk dirty 

Get into it quickly by telling your partner exactly what naughty things you want to do to them.

Train Wreck

4. Prepare with a warm-up

Starting off with mutual masturbation takes the pressure off getting into things. Plus it will seriously turn him on watching you.

5. “If you’re horny, ride it, my pony”

Set the mood and embrace your inner sex goddess with body bumping tunes.

Girl bending over chair

6. Enlist help to ensure you both orgasm

Use sex toys that you know work for you both.

7. Try something RISKAY

Whether it is an unexpected location or a risky position, the excitement of trying something daring is sure to get you both super hot.

Couple having quickie

5 signs that indicate you might have fallen out of love

Girl blowing clover

If there is one thing that I know about any relationship, whether it is a friendship or romantic, it is that they require work and commitment. Relationships can be hard and that is not a reason to give up on someone, but how do you know when to call it quits?

Realising that you are no longer in love is not an easy feat. While all relationships are different and there is no generic answer to suit every situation, there are a few things you need to keep in mind that can guide your decision.


Ask yourself these questions:

Have those once cute habits your significant other become intolerable?

Maybe you once found the noise that he makes when he’s asleep comforting but now all you can think is ‘please be quiet’! Sure, this is somewhat normal in any relationship but if the person hasn’t changed you need to think about why what was once okay is now not acceptable to you.

Are you sick of trying?

Relationships are hard! They require work and constant growth. But you might find yourself at a point where you are not willing to try anymore, and that’s okay.

How often do you have that unbearable need to be with them?

Do you remember that feeling... when you first fall in love and all you can think about is that one person? You want to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with them. While it’s completely normal to spend less time together when you are in a more stable, long term relationship, ultimately that should be the person you want to end your day and unwind with.

Do you actually still LIKE this person?

Relationships can become routine; it’s often easier to stay in a mundane relationship than face the pain of being alone.

Are you afraid of being alone?

Letting go of a big part of your life is a scary thought! Losing the comfort of your partner’s presence can really affect you emotionally. Make sure to talk about your feelings and look for support from your friends and family.


Words: Frances van Eeden

4 thoughts single women have when everyone is getting married

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It was a crisp summer night and I’d slipped into my figure-hugging, little black dress and strappy-satin, Jimmy Choo heels and headed to the city’s hottest nightclub. While my friends and I were waiting for our cocktails by the bar, I ran into an old acquaintance. She was snuggling into the nook of a tall, toned man. He appeared confident in his stance and she appeared comfortable and secure.

We started chatting and it wasn’t long before our conversation escalated and I found myself asking who was her silent partner. But her reply was something I wasn’t ready for and it shook me to the core.

I’m on the verge of 29 and my girlfriends and I all shudder at the thought of commitment.

Give us a job, a new client, a project challenge or anything to do with moving forward in our careers and we’ll tackle it front on. Give us a man and ask us to settle down right now and we’re having instant panic attacks.

Many will say it’s because we are yet to find the one but FOREVER is still a daunting thought.

Daily I swear on (Yves) Saint Laurent, commit to my Christian Louboutins, promise myself Prada, lust for Louis Vuitton and melt for Marc Jacobs. But I tend to always run down Struggle Street when a man asks for my hand in life’s level of eternity.

In that moment, this acquaintance quickly became my frenemy. Though we grew up together and yes she was a number of years younger than me, when she mercilessly told me she was married - I was left simply, gob smacked.

It had me questioning whether or not I had missed the love boat? Am I the only one judging and questioning my single status? Does commitment mean completion?


Here are 4 thoughts every single woman has when everyone around her is jumping on the marriage wagon and setting sail to honeymoon land.

Will I be alone forever?

As a woman there’s this unwritten rule that lingers where society expects you to reproduce. So when we’re faced with the reality of our age and no man, it leaves us in an overwhelming headspace. Sometimes the male specimens aren’t lining up for the single us but that doesn’t mean we’re alone. Companionship comes in all different shapes and sizes such as our closest friends and our dearest family members. Alone only sets in when we let it.

Is there really a Mr. Right? Have I missed him?

I don’ know about you but I’m over hearing about Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. I’m a firm believer that sometimes life just needs to do life. Timing, it’s all about timing. Maybe you haven’t found the one just yet but you won’t discover him by worrying and questioning where he is. Just let him float your way and remember to expect the unexpected. Love will find you.

Should I settle for second?

These are the tender moments where we are already fragile and start to consider our options. It’s dangerous territory. But one thing’s for sure, never settle for second best. Why have half when you can have the whole thing?

Can I be happy alone?

Despite conforming to society’s ideals of fulfillment, happiness is found within you. It should never be found in someone else. That’s an unhealthy foundation. Being happy with who you are means that you can be happy with Mr. Right.

11 stages to acceptance newly single women experience

It doesn't matter how long your prior relationship lasted or what went wrong, this is the cycle us newly-single women go through after a breakup. 

1. You analyse EVERY detail of what possibly went wrong.

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2. You start a new relationship ... with food and wine.

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3. You wallow...

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4. You despise all couples. Nobody dare mention the L-word, let alone partake in PDA - yuck!

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5. It hits you, that empty feeling. You feel extremely lonely.

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6. Then your angry self comes to visit. Unleash your inner Sasha Fierce -you are not held responsible for anything she says or does.

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7. You attempt to go on a bender.

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8. Until you realise all your friends are in happy relationships and won’t join in on your ‘love is the worst’ tirade.

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9. The denial stage sets in when your friends and family try to intervene.

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10. You decide let your freak flag fly.

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11. Finally, self-acceptance sets in and you come to terms with the fact that you don’t need another to define you! Well, until the next muscle man comes along.

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Words: Frances van Eeden

The disconnect of Tinder and dating in an online world

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“I’ve found the guy of my dreams! Well, sort of... I swiped right on him. He’s a total dreamboat, funny and gentlemanly, except I’ve never met him,” gushed a friend to me recently. Except this same Tinder dream-guy vanished without a trace just a few days of chatting later.

If you are shouting ‘hell yes!’ and you’ve experienced a new crush or recent hook-up suddenly stop replying to your texts like he’s fallen off the face of the earth - even though you know they’ve been read – girl you’ve been ghosted!

Tinder and the other many dating apps makes meeting people easier but keeping someone interested much harder.

We’re dating in a world where Snapchat’s and emojis are the new conversation and blind dates have become Tinder dates, and you can never anticipate what or who to expect.

In this world of disconnect and after a series of awkward dating situations, I wonder; are we overlooking potential because we are so curious about what else is out there? When the person you are on a date with does not tick all your ideal boxes, we barely have time for disappointment because we jump right back onto Tinder and keep swiping.

As a society we have become so detached; just because dating has moved online, we forget that it is another person with real feelings on the other side of the screen. It is important to take precautions when chatting online, be that on Tinder or any other dating apps, and not invest too much of yourself in one potential match.


Here’s how to make the most of dating on Tinder and avoid disappointment if it all goes awry:

Trust your gut

Whether he seems sketchy or too good to be true, listen to your gut when it’s telling you to be wary.

If you’re after more, don’t offer less

Sex has become so easy. Guys can swipe right on a girl and arrange to meet her at 11pm for a booty call – hit it and quit it, as they say. If you know from the start you are not after a one-night stand, don’t give in to temptation... patience is a virtue.

Multiply your love life

It’s normal to want to stop dating other people when you’ve met a guy you really like but be carefully not to give your heart over too soon. If you date a few guys that you are into, it won’t hurt as much when one rejects you.

You have to be picky

Be selective when you swipe right, you don’t want to end up with 30 random duds trying to pick you up 11pm at night. Remember to never settle for less than you deserve.

Have a conversation

If you meet someone in real life, you wouldn’t have a two sentence conversation then go on a date. Similarly have a conversation on Tinder, text and flirt to make sure you don’t waste your time on a date with someone you have no interest in.

Lose the checklist

Instead of having set criteria to determine your date as successful or a total dud, be open-minded to the person in front of you... you might even learn a thing or two about yourself.

Armed with this knowledge you are ready to head into the battlefield that is dating! 

Words: Frances van Eeden


Words: Frances van Eeden

Why coping with loneliness will help you discover who you are

Written by

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It's the lull in the valley, neither the end nor the beginning. It's that point in between that's the silent killer. It creeps in with no warning - abrupt, sudden and overwhelming. The chill sets in and you are left with the daunting reality of being alone.

It's the moment where it feels like nothing has the power to fill the unexplainable void.

Maybe the timeline has only been a week or maybe it has been a year? But when the one thing that holds you together is taken away - you're faced with yourself. Just you, alone with the honest representation of your thoughts, ambitions and dreams judged by your past, present and future.

Being built up to be torn down is a comprising position. Is it ever safe to fill that empty space with the one thing that destroyed us?

Were we ever built to truly handle falling apart?

I'm surrounded by strong, independent and beautiful women. Yet, their weakness all lies in a common denominator and it's the one thing that makes them emotionally vulnerable. They are victims to love, lust and loneliness.

My best conversations with the girls have been about how much we love and hate our exes. We're consumed by the new fling, the date, the relationship and the potential of love.

If we are this absorbed in the what ifs and the maybes then are we victims to our own selfish needs? And if we are, how do we free ourselves?

Are their survival tactics to making it through a lonely drought? Because it's something nobody talks about.

It's said that time will heal the heart but what if that is never enough?

I think there will always be a sting from a broken heart. Recovery is possible, but one is forever tainted when they've given themselves to love.

As women we are fragile human beings. Though we are externally fierce, confident and independent, inside us tells another story - delicate, wounded and diluted.

It had me thinking, loneliness tends to lurk in at the darkest hour. It's at night, when the world slows down and all we have is ourselves. The most confronting factor is that it's difficult to be left alone with our own thoughts.

It's not about the need to be with someone else, it's a complex issue where we are faced with desire and reality.

I believe that heartbreaks do elevate us. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. There is always beauty at the end of the journey.

Surround yourself with things that make you smile. Learn to love and accept yourself. Don't give up because you've been disappointed. Though we cry many tears and our heart aches uncontrollably, what we must never forget is that we were born to love and be loved.