Get the guy: 6 ways to leave him begging for more

Take note of these habits next time you’re under the covers with a new lover and leave an impression that will have him back begging for more!

Sexy girl looking good in bed

Getting under the covers with a new lover for the first time is equally as exciting as it is daunting. You can’t yet determine his intentions; how do you know whether he is in it for a one night thing or the long run?

Nothing hurts your 'dating confidence' more than being ghosted after sleeping with a potential partner for the first time. That’s why it’s imperative to make a good impression in the bedroom . We all want to be so amazing that he can’t get you out of his head, right?!

[RELATED: 10 Signs that tell him you are great in the bedroom]

What makes great sex? It is the unexplained connection, well-practiced skills or a reflection on your experience? Here are 6 things to keep in mind under the covers to make sure you leave a great impression!

Exude confidence

We all know there’s nothing sexier than confidence! To ooze sex appeal you have to be comfortable with your own body. If you are able to openly love and touch your body, so will he... over and over again.

Be open to trying new things

Whether it is not judging your partner’s fantasies or allowing yourself to identify your own inner fantasies, being open to turn-ons is hot! Nothing kills the vibe faster than a partner who is judgemental in the bedroom.

Take control

Being assertive and self-assured is sure to give him a night he won’t soon forget.

Selena Gomez Hands To Myself be confident make a good impression in bed

Be aware of your body

We aren’t suggesting you overthink every situation, because sex is all about getting ‘out of’ your head after all, but be mindful of your posture. Men are visual and that sexy image of you arching your back will stick in his mind for days to come.

Don’t be afraid to play rough

Sure, there is a time and place for passionate love-making, but don’t be afraid to get a little rough... especially if you want it to be a night he remembers! Brownie points if you’re the one initiating the kinky-play. Bite his shoulder, tug at his hair, dig your fingers into his back with urgency and tell him how much you want to be spanked.

Talk dirty

Go on, we dare you, say those things your parents would never want to hear you say...

These bedroom ways are sure to leave him lusting after another night with you!

How to overcome nerves & anxiety to start dating again

Is stress, worry or anxiety preventing you from dating again? Are you worried about having another bad dating experience?

Get over the fear and anxiety of dating again

Perhaps one of your goals for this year is to be in a fulfilling relationship, which means you may need to start dating and meeting some new people. If you are feeling anxious or worried about your next date, you are probably thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong.

You might be worried that you are too shy, will say the wrong thing, or what if you don’t “click” with the other person and the date is boring...

Anxiety is self-fulfilling

Anxiety is an emotion, and when we feel anxious we are worrying and thinking about what we don’t want and what could go wrong. Have you ever thought about something going wrong on a date, then when it happened you said “I knew it was going to happen”?

It became a self fulfilling prophesy because it has been proven scientifically that your mind is unable to differentiate between what you vividly image and what is real. Therefore, regardless of whether you focus on what you want or what you don’t want to happen on a date, you will make it happen with your thoughts and actions.

Stop pressuring yourself and enjoy your date

Many people put too much pressure on the date – they either put too much pressure on themselves to create a great first impression or too many expectations of their date, and even both.

Take the pressure off and keep the following five tips in mind:

1. Have a clear outcome for your date

Most people go on a date without any idea of what they wish to achieve. It is like when you go shopping and you have no idea what you want; you walk away unhappy.

Think about the following prior to your date: Is it a first date, second or subsequent date? What would you like to achieve on that date? Would you like to better get to know the other person through conversation, or build an emotional connection with them?

By having a clear outcome, you will know the type of conversation to have. Then you can relax and allow yourself to comfortably communicate and enjoy your date.

2. Have a way of knowing that your date was successful

If you are unsure how you will measure the date was successful, then you may have a successful date and not even know it! Instead, think about the following.

How will you know that your date was a success? Will your conversation flow easily? Will you feel a connection? Will you discuss catching up again? Will you receive a compliment? Will you have an enjoyable time or laugh a lot? Or something else?

[RELATED: Is your fear of being alone sabotaging potential love?]

3. Only focus on one step at a time

Prior to and during your date only think about that date – be fully present and in the moment. Avoid thinking about the next date, moving in together, getting married and having children with this person. If you think too far ahead you will start to change the conversation in this direction, and you could push your date away. Instead, stay in the moment and enjoy the date.

4. Get to know each other

As you are in the moment, get to know each other. Look out for signs of compatibility and connection. Use these signs to help you to know if there is potential there, and if you would like to have another date. Avoid being too hasty because sometimes you need at least two dates before you can determine this. Give yourself and your date a chance.

5. Visualise success

Prior to your date, imagine it being a success and only focus on your outcome. Only think about what you want, and see yourself having a successful date.

Imagine how much you look forward to your next date by focusing on what you want, and how much more you enjoy your date.


Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit

Ó Qt, 2000 – 2016. All Rights Reserved.


Deal breakers: 7 reasons he didn't ask for another date

The things you did on your first date to make him run for the hills and not call you back. 

Things you did on the first date that caused him to not call you back

Dating, it's rough out there! As we've seen in movies such as 'How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days' and 'He's Just Not That Into You', there are a few things us ladies tend to do that seem to do a lot more harm than good.

But instead of sitting at home this Saturday night with a tub of Ben & Jerry's, read on and figure out exactly what you did to send him running for the hills and get back out there with all the knowledge you need to keep him keen, for a whole lot longer than just a few hours.

Here is a run down of the biggest dating no-no's that will have him running for the hills faster than you can say 'see you later'!

1. You were late

There is nothing guys hate more in this world, (except maybe Sex and the City), than waiting around. Whether he picked you up or you met at the restaurant, it is the height of rudeness to leaving him hanging.

He doesn't want to hear excuses like you 'couldn't decide on a dress' or your 'mum called for a chat', unless your car broke down or your cat died, there's really no excuse for tardiness.

2. You drank way too much

There is nothing wrong with letting your hair down and enjoying a refreshing glass (or two) of red after a long week at work. However, what can start out as an innocent icebreaker can go downhill very quickly.

No guy wants to scrape you off the floor - or hold your hair - on the first date. Our advice, slip slowly – semi-sobriety is key!

3. You brought up your ex

Ah, the ex - the always awkward conversation killer. A tearful account of your break up, angry analysis of his new girl's Instagram, or loving reflection on your romantic getaway to Fiji are all going to have him reaching for his jacket before you can even begin to realise what you've done wrong.

4. You talked the whole time

First dates, they're all about discovering each other right?

They're new and exciting and of course he wants to hear all about your job, your friends and your interests, but an hour recount of your family tree or a blow by blow description of your latest business deal, maybe save these for later! As pretty as the sound of your voice is, he doesn't want to hear it for 3 hours straight. Be sure to ask about him – and really listen.

The reasons he isn't calling you back for a second date; you ordered a salad

5. You ordered the salad (and then ate half of his fries)

We all know the eternal struggle when it comes time to order; "do  I smile and order a side salad, or give in and get what I really want"? The answer is pretty clear in our books, order the steak!

Guys love a girl with an appetite and you won't freak him out two months down the track when you suddenly start doubling your portion sizes.

However, if you do opt for something light, don't let those hands start to wander (over to his plate that is).

6. You were on your phone the whole time

Remember when you were a kid and there were no phones allowed at the dinner table? Your parents were right, this golden rule should stick with you for life!

There is nothing more crushing than telling someone something you find super interesting and looking over to see their head buried in their phone. It tells him that you don't care, so why should he?

7. You didn't reach for the cheque

The cheque dance... We all know how it goes, you reach for your purse and he snatches it our of your hands and proudly hands his card to the waiter. It might seem like a pointless exercise, but guys like to feel needed. Treating you to dinner makes him feel manlier than ever, why would you deny him that!?

[RELATED: The signs that he has totally unleashed your inner crazy]

So, there you have it. Are you the culprit behind one (or more) of these dating crimes? If so, don't fret. Use this list as your go to guide for what not to do, and you'll have more dates than you could ever dream of.

Words: Sophie Catsoulis

10 Style & beauty things guys hate but won't admit

A brutally honest look at what he really thinks of your style and beauty. 

Beauty and fashion styles that guys hate but won't admit

Ah, what we all would give for a day inside our boyfriend's head. If women are from Venus and men really are from Mars, then I'd have to say we're all pretty sane here on Venus.

As girls we tend to be pretty up front when it comes to what we find sexy (or alternatively, not so hot). Over on Mars, guys seem to have a secret pact to keep their lips sealed and keep us guessing.

We've ventured into the crazy labyrinth that is the male psyche and extracted a list (just for you) of all the things that drive men mad (and not in the way we want to!).

Here we have a brutally honest and slightly frustrating look into their thinking about our clothing choices and beauty picks.

Too much make-up

Put away your Urban Decay Naked palette, the verdict is in and guys say that less is definitely more, and minimal make-up is here to stay. Keep it simple, he'll love it!

Showing too much skin

We all know guys can't resist a glimpse of skin (anywhere from our cleavage to legs), but studies show that guys think too much skin really isn't that sexy. We're in no way suggesting that you have to cover up your curves, but maybe try to leave something his imagination with subtly sexy outfits!

Over-styled hair

Men are very tactile creatures and to most, there's nothing sexier than running their hands through a girls soft, silky locks. High, slick ponies and ballet buns are a date night no-no. As with the make-up, simplicity is key. Opt for tousled, natural waves – it's as easy as that!

Ridiculously high heels

While high heels can be a girl's greatest asset (if you know what we mean), there is definitely such a thing as too high. Skip the sky high platforms that crush your feet (and your soul), throw on some appropriate (yet no less stunning) wedges and enjoy your night out – your feet will thank you in the morning!

Oversized fashion

Despite the fact that they don't like too much skin, ask any guy and he will tell you that he hates the trends that hide your fabulous figure. Everything from boyfriend jeans and culottes, to maxi dresses and play-suits – he can't stand them...

Anything high waisted

For some bizarre reason, boys hate almost anything high waisted. Shorts, skirts, jeans, you name it - they're not a fan. Apparently, it reminds them of their mum, personally we think it denies them prime viewing of your derrière – just a thought but it explains a lot!

Over the top accessories

It's common knowledge that oversized sunglasses have always been a pet hate for most guys, and we can see why. Of course he hates that they swallow up almost all of your pretty face! But the list now extends to big, floppy hats and chunky/ statement jewellery. The overwhelming trend seems to be that of simplicity, so we will put this down to the basic fact that he thinks you're gorgeous, just the way you are.

Push up bras

Two words: false advertising.

Fake tan

While of course no guy can resist a sun-kissed glow, the people have spoken and to them, there's nothing worse than a bad fake tan. But of course, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. If you know how to achieve a flawless, natural tan, go for it, but if he can see the streaks, smell the coconut or feel the stickiness it, it's best to skip your usual Thursday night routine.

Claw like nails

Now, this is not an excuse to revert back to your sad, bitten nails of 2010. There's nothing wrong with a pretty, polished manicure, but guys definitely prefer a natural look.

For the most part, we love this list. Minimal, natural beauty is all the rage at the moment and we couldn't be more for it. But, in saying that, it's important to dress for yourself, so if you can't resist pulling on your boyfriend jeans on the weekend or donning a red lip for a night out, go for it (no matter what he thinks!).

Words: Sophie Catsoulis

6 Signs he only wants sex and not to get to know you

It’s amazing when you meet someone and there is instant chemistry; but does he really want to get to know you... or are you just another conquest on his list of lovers?

Signs he only wants sex and not to be a couple in love

So you wear your heart on your sleeve and are always open with people you date about what you want? When it comes to men, you either get lucky and find someone who knows what he wants and he isn’t afraid to let you know it, or it can be tricky trying to decode what his intentions are.

After a series of dud dates, there is nothing more exciting than meeting someone that you instantly connect with. The conversation is fun, the flirting is cheeky and he knows just where to kiss and touch you. The only way to describe it is... intense! But are you really special or is this just his "thing"?

[RELATED: 7 signs that you are both sexually compatible]

Of course we totally encourage the confidence to ask but sometimes, you just can’t trust them can you? Regardless of what’s coming out of his mouth, his actions speak for themselves.

Here’s how you know he only wants sex and not love.

He only ever compliments your looks

Sure, we love being complimented on how hot our booty looks in that new pair of jeans, but if he only ever takes note of your physical features and not your personality – like your killer sense of humour - then he only wants one thing.

He’s never actually taken you on a real date

So you never make it out of the house for a proper date – be it dinner and a movie or a day at the beach – because he just has so much to do after you’ve hooked up? When you do order food or 'catch a movie' he insists on splitting the bill, that way it’s not really a date.

He never asks about your life outside of the bedroom

He doesn’t care about your day, your family or your feelings; he doesn’t care because he just wants sex.

How rude that he only wants sex and not love

He gets frustrated when watching Netflix is actually just watching Netflix

He doesn’t enjoy doing the things couples do in relationships, like watching a movie, spooning on the couch or kissing, without it leading elsewhere.

He makes it REALLY HARD for you to stay over

“Oh sorry my shower seems to be broken...”, “Oh sorry I have a thing in the morning...”, he will never tell you to leave but keeps dropping hints that sleeping over is not acceptable.

He makes you wait to hear from him

After spending some steamy quality time together women tend to feel a connection, meaning you look forward to texting, seeing or talking to him again. But he sends you on your way and it takes days before you hear from him again.

[RELATED: What his kissing style reveals about his bedroom ways]

Ladies, you are so much more than just a placeholder or timekiller. You deserve a man who makes you feel great but also loves you for you! 

Words: Frances van Eeden

7 Signs he is experienced and will blow your mind

Say you have a bit of time before you jump in the sack with this mysteriously hot lover.

7 Signs he is experienced and will blow your mind in bed featuring Fifty Shades of Grey characters

The following are a few signs that indicate he's experienced under the sheets and will potentially blow your mind in the bedroom.

1. He's a great kisser

His kissing style will reveal his bedroom ways. If he likes to kiss you softly and know show to tease you with his lips, then rest assured that he will have you longing for more as he takes you to the finish line.

2. His bathroom is stocked for an adult sleepover

His bathroom is tidy and stocks those extra supplies such as extra tooth brushes, razors, pads and tampons. He has an array of condoms, lubricants, two flavours of mouthwash and possibly hair pins and and hair ties.

3. He's confident about his equipment

He knows that there is no need to explain, brag or justify anything. He is confident that showing you what he can do is better than telling you about it.

4. He's creative and experimental

It's not pornstar play rather the art of two bodies working together cohesively because he knows how to hold and move you to amp things up a lot!

[RELATED: 10 Signs that tell him you are great in the bedroom]

5. He's totally into foreplay

A guy who gets that foreplay is important understands that the teasing and touching is the secret ingredient to a mind blowing ending. If he's patient and enjoys a sexy adventure then he's probably had a few under his belt.

6. He pays attention to your signals

Whether you are softly moaning, or how your body trembles, he is taking notes to ensure those motions are only accelerated.

7. He makes sure you're satisfied first

His desire to to make sure that he blows your mind. For him, you finishing first is the ultimate sign that he's reigning in the bedroom.

REALTED: BNT PLAYBOY Simone Holtznagel

Why he hasn't asked you yet: 5 signs he's not the one

Ladies, these are the signs that your partner just isn't THE ONE for you.

Is your relationship working, the signs he is not the one.

So you have been with your partner for a few years now and it's getting pretty serious? You're both happy, finally getting ahead at work and his family absolutely adores you? So, why hasn't he asked you yet?

Now before any of the boys reading this get their boxers in a twist, of course there are plenty of legitimate reasons to wait to get married, but how do you know if it's never going to happen? Ladies, these are the signs that your partner might just be wasting your time.

1. He doesn't prioritise you

It goes without saying that guy time is important, but so are you. If he's constantly choosing his mates over you and cancelling that ever important date night for the next poker night, football game or drinks with the guys, it's pretty safe to say that he doesn't have his priorities in order.

2. He always says 'I', never 'we'

A few years down the track, you guys should pretty much come as a package deal. Whether it's a wedding, a work function or a weekend away, if he's only thinking of himself, he probably only ever will.

3. He doesn't take an interest in your life

We are well aware that every little work related whinge and whine aren't exactly riveting for your man, but if he never asks you how your day was, or listens when you speak, it's pretty clear that he just doesn't care.

4. He doesn't make an effort

We're not asking for a fairytale, but the little things he does for you are definitely indicative of his feelings. Does he ever bring home flowers just because, or offer to rub your feet after a bad day, or rearrange his day to just take you out for lunch?

If you answered yes, you know how one little gesture can make your whole week. If you're sitting there wishing he did, you definitely deserve a guy that will go that extra mile.

5. He's uncomfortable with commitment

Have you ever had that cringe-worthy conversation when your grandma innocently asks about grandkids or a friend jokes about your wedding and he instantly changes the subject or laughs it off? We're sorry to say but if he can't (or won't) talk about your future, there probably isn't going to be one.

As heartbreaking as break-ups can be, if these signs resonate with you as you read this article, he's probably not the one. Don't waste your time on a guy that doesn't treat you right. Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess – including you!

Words: Sophie Catsoulis

The naughty drawer essentials inspired by Samantha Jones

Ladies, you know what we're talking about today, it's that saucy drawer that holds one too many naughty secrets.

Lingerie is a naughty drawer essential that all women must have

Well, we are all grown women here and if there is one thing we have learnt from Sex and the City's risque character, Samantha Jones, it is that we CAN have it all! The sex partner, the orgasm and serious style.

Like any well thought-out wardrobe, there are a few essentials that every woman needs. But this time, these must haves are a little more experimental and have to be within arms reach. So we've taken inspiration from Miss Jones and carefully selected a few sexy items that are sure to spice up your life when you're flying solo or with a co-pilot.

An array of sexy lingerie

In this case, your lingerie choice is just an accessory and yes, less is definitely more! From barely there g-strings to brightly coloured nipple tassels - these little additions are sure to surprise your pleasure partner and... turn things up a notch.

Lubricants and condoms

It's a major buzz kill when he's under-prepared, so why not have a little stash of condoms ready to go. Oh, and lubricant - do we even need to explain this? The whole slip and slide action is always more fun when things aren't dry.

A toy or two or heck, why not a little tool box

Sex toys are a fun way to speed things up or slow them down. Riding solo? Then nothing guarantees pleasure like a battery operated friend. But honestly, we as women usually take a little longer to reach climax so introducing a vibrator with your partner will, well - we'll leave it up to your imagination.

Oh, and don't forget about hand cuffs, whips and the list goes on. Variety is key!

The naughty drawer essentials every woman needs

Candles to set the mood

A sexy, warm atmosphere will amplify and enhance that sultry bedroom experience. A dimly candle lit room will set the mood in style.

Feminine wipes to keep things effortless

After things get hot and heavy, they also get a little sticky and messy. So having those feminine wipes within arms reach means the clean up is less than tricky.

Adult board games for fun

Breaking the ice isn't always easy. Maybe he's nervous, maybe you don't want to be too forward, slowing things down and teasing your way to sexy is the perfect approach. A naughty board game calls for some cheeky fun and a little adventure. And if he plays his cards right - a mind blowing prize awaits.

Now go ahead and play!

10 Reasons you're way too good to be stalking his ex

Reasons you shouldn’t be stalking and worrying about his ex

Ladies, deny it to your man as much as you like, but sometimes we can't resist the urge to seriously stalk obsess over his ex girlfriend.

Regardless of what your man’s situation is with his ex – whether she is in the picture or not – sometimes you just can’t help but over think about it, which leads to obsessing and stalking, which leads to endless fights about something so trivial.

Reasons you shouldn't be stalking his ex

Ladies, here are the top 10 reasons you really shouldn’t fret over his ex.

1. It’s immature.

Consider yourself a #GIRLBOSS... Think again. You wouldn’t fall down on the floor and throw a tantrum when things don’t go your way, so why would you act like an immature little girl when it comes to his ex. If there is something you really want to know, maybe just ask him then forgive and forget, let karma do its thing.

Let carma worry about his ex

2. You’re someone else’s ex.

Just take a moment to image your ex boyfriend’s (cringe – we know but hear us out) new partner obsessing over and hating on you...

3. His past is part of who he is.

We’re all grown up’s here; you should be able to talk about past situations without making a big deal out of it. If he openly talks about his past without bitterness it doesn’t mean he is still hung up on her, it means he is mentally healthy and has moved on.

4. You’re letting her win.

Being caught up on his ex is going to inevitably start arguments and can jeopardise your relationship.


[RELATED: The signs that he has totally unleashed your inner crazy]

5. You’re undermining yourself.

Being hung up on her means you aren’t accepting the fact that he wants YOU. Don’t self yourself short.

Reasons you shouldn’t be worrying about his ex

6. Your relationship is so much better!

Well he is with you and not her for a reason right!?

Reasons you shouldn’t be worrying about his ex

7. Judging only highlights your insecurities.

Sitting around with your girlfriends and judging the way she does her hair, takes her selfies and what she posts on Facebook just brings out your insecurities.

8. You aren’t hung up on your ex.

You’re not daydreaming about your ex right!? Your new relationship is SO MUCH BETTER, so why would you think your man is hung up on his?

Hell no you shouldn’t be worrying about his ex

9. She’s not in your relationship.

So don’t let her get in the way.

10. There is a reason she is his ex. He is with you now. So calm your stalking!

Reasons you shouldn’t be worrying about his ex

Ladies, of course this list only applies to worthy guys. If you can't trust him, what are you doing with him anyhow?!

Reasons you shouldn’t be worrying about his ex

Words: Frances van Eeden

10 Signs that tell him you are great in the bedroom

Sings that women are good in bed and kissing

How do you determine whether someone was great in bed? Is it the connection, the confidence or just well-practiced skills that make for a mind-blowing experience?

It’s not something you notice on the daily, but there are tell-tale signs for both men and women that lets your partner know how good you will be under the covers.

Now that we know the signs that a man will be great in bed, ladies, it’s time to turn the spotlight onto you!

Let’s uncover the habits that lets him know YOU will be great in the bedroom...

You’re confident

Exuding confidence in life tells him that you will be confident in the bedroom.


You aren’t afraid to ask for what you want

Although they might not always admit it, men don't mind being told what to do. Being assertive lets him know that you will make the pleasing easier for him. 


You aren’t judgemental

His intimate fantasies might be something slightly embarrassing for him, so knowing you won’t judge him for it will go a long way.


You’re open to trying new things without getting embarrassed

Weird noises, ending up in awkward tangles... Nothing puts a damper on a good time like trying something new and having it go horribly wrong. Except of course if you aren’t afraid to laugh it off and get over it.


You’re a great kisser

The way you your lips move, and how you use your tongue says a lot...


You flirt and playfully tease during conversation

What this means in his mind: You indulge in foreplay and will tease to please in the bedroom.


You know how to move your body

Whether it’s the way you dance or the way you strut your stuff, men know that a woman comfortable and familiar with her body will move and have fun in all sorts of sexy ways in the bedroom.


You enjoy solo Netflix and chill time...

Knowing your body makes quality time with your man so much better.

You aren’t self-conscious

Think of the best sex you’ve had... It was most likely filled with passion, enthusiastic and you we’re oozing sex appeal. These things don’t happen when you are constantly worrying about what your thighs look like or whether he cares about your jiggles.


You’re spontaneous

Men love surprises!

Words: Frances van Eeden

It's time to reigniting the connection with your man

Find the love and reconnect with your partner

Has your man stopped looking at you in that lustful way? Do you feel like you have lost the connection? Or are you feeling totally alone in your relationship?

When we first get into a new relationship, we feel the excitement, passion and adventure of someone new in our life. In that excitement, we are open to experiencing new things and are more accommodating of the other person’s needs. After years of being in the same relationship, complacency can set in, and you can end up in a comfort zone.

The main problem with a comfort zone is that we can drift along in life and in a relationship feeling unfulfilled. We stop challenging ourselves and each other, and the excitement of life and the relationship may gradually disappear over the years. In turn, the close connection and intimacy between partners can suffer.

By using the three strategies below you can prevent this happening in your relationship, and ensure that you reignite that connection with your partner, and keep it for many years.


1. Positive Associations

One sure fire way to ruin a relationship over time is by having too many or too intense negative associations between partners. For example, every time a couple goes to bed they argue or talk about their problems in bed. This can link arguing and talking about problems, and all the associated feelings, to the bed. Often this can lead to less intimacy in bed because of those ill feelings that have been linked to the bed. Other ways of developing negative associations include: complaining every time you speak with your partner; frowning all the time; using a commanding or demeaning tone of voice.

Instead, next time you are with your partner, make sure that you use a facial expression, tone of voice or touch that assists your partner to feel a positive emotion. If you want to only have a positive association to the bed, make sure that you make it off limits to fight or discuss problems in bed and only reserve the bed for intimacy.

2. Reignite the Attraction

Remember the first time you met and the attraction you felt for each other? Too many negative associations over time can outweigh that attraction for your partner. To reignite that attraction:

• Sit directly opposite each other and look into each other’s eyes.
• As you each remember that moment in time when you were first attracted to each other, really feel that attraction.
• Repeat this several times on separate occasions to bring that attraction that you once felt for each other back.

3. Align Your Priorities

Our priorities in life and in a relationship can change over time, as can our partner’s. This causes you to drift apart and feel little or no connection with each other. It is important that you are clear about your top priorities in life and in a relationship. Your priorities determine how you spend your time, so if you complain that your partner spends little time with you, perhaps your and your partner’s priorities in life and in a relationship are different. It is important that you align your priorities, then set common goals that you can work towards as a couple.

Applying these strategies will assist you to reignite and keep a close and strong connection with your partner for many years to come.


Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit

Ó Qt, 2000 – 2016. All Rights Reserved.


7 Signs that indicate your man will be amazing in bed

Sexy man signs that he will be good in bed

Ladies, we all know there’s nothing worse than investing time and effort into dating a guy only to realise a few dates, weeks or months later (whatever takes your fancy, you do you!) that he is totally blah in bed. YAWN!

Dating takes up your valuable time and is oh-so-much effort; why waste it on a dud?

These 7 signs indicate that he will be worth the effort and make up for it in the bedroom when the time comes...

Guy walking in a sexy way shows he will be good in bed

1. He walks well.

While you might be thinking WTF, we really believe that a guy’s posture and the way he walks says a lot about the amount of effort he will put in, and how his body can move. Be aware of men who walk limp and seriously uncoordinated... awkward.

2. He has big hands.

The bigger the hands, the better he can feel you babe.

3. He is adventurous and enjoys trying new things.

Look, we’re going to let this one speak for itself.

Guy eating pizza in a sexy way shows he will be good in bed

4. He loves his food and eats... well normally.

Does he savour his delicious bites or does he ravenously stuff his face? While a good appetite goes hand in hand with a lusty libido, he shouldn’t be sloppy or greedy.

[RELATED: Ten unspoken casual sex rules every woman should know]

5. He is confident without trying too hard.

You know those men who try way too hard to impress you, they are usually compensating for something. But a man who has a sense of humour and is just the right amount of cocky, he usually knows what he is doing in the bedroom.

Sexy guy making eye contact shows he will be good in bed

6. He makes eye contact frequently.

If he is not afraid to stare lustfully into your eyes and hold eye contact, be excited for the attentiveness and passion to come in the bedroom. But just watch out for the one who never breaks eye contact, this usually screams psycho.

7. He's a really ambitious person.

If he is unmotivated in life, he will most likely be lazy in the bedroom.

Of course there are exceptions to each of these, but most of the time your intuition will let you know, listen to your gut ladies!

Image source: Tumblr

Words: Frances van Eeden