Who Is In Your Life?
Firstly, look at who is in your life. Consider all your ex’s.0 To what extent is your anger, hurt, resentment, rejection and betrayal from your past relationships holding you back from having a new more empowering relationship? Next consider your current partner. Is your partner cluttering up your focus by being negative? Do they drain you of energy with their constant complaining? Are your “buttons” being pushed by your partner?
Before you start to exit your current partner from your life, take a close look at yourself and notice how your partner reflects your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours.
Below you will find five ways to spring clean your own thoughts first, before you spring clean your relationship:
1. Let go of past fears, hurts and self doubts
Declutter your mind from past emotions (eg. hurt, anger, fear, rejection, betrayal, guilt, etc) and self doubts (eg. not good enough, fear of failure/success, being judged, fear of being alone, etc). The more your mind is cluttered with these and your past relationships, the more you will keep recreating the same patterns and dynamics with your current and future partner. In turn, this will prevent you from having the relationship you truly desire.
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2. Forgive and remember the lesson
Is there a partner who has wronged you in the past and whom you have not forgiven? By holding onto lack of forgiveness you are only hurting yourself. When you forgive, you learn from the situation rather than forget about it. Then you will be free to create a more empowering and loving relationship based on the present, instead of being dragged into the past.
3. Stop beating up on yourself
Most people are really good at beating up on themselves and regardless of how much they have achieved, they find fault. Your self-talk can be your best friend or a saboteur. Learn to become your own best friend and start rewarding yourself for both the smallest and big achievements each day. If you want your partner to be more supportive and loving towards you, first you need to treat yourself that way.
4. Banish anxiety and negativity
Because you get what you focus on, if you continue to focus on what you don’t want, you will keep attracting it. By visualising exactly what you want each day, you program your mind to attract more positive people, situations and opportunities into your life. Like attracts like. If you want to attract a more positive partner into your life, ensure that you are positive first!
5. Turn Confusion into Clarity of Direction
Without clarity there can be confusion and lots of purposeless action. Not knowing what you really want leads to scattered thinking and results in scattered action. Instead, create a clear vision for your life (and where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, etc) and then set short term and long term goals to help you get there. When you know where you are going, your communication will be clearer and your partner will be able to support you.
Once you spring clean your thoughts, you will change the unconscious signals you send to your partner. This will help you to spring clean your past and current relationship, and to more easily create the relationship you desire with your current or new partner.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit www.qttransformation.com.
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