Money can be one of the key areas of conflict in a relationship. Constant arguing and fighting over spending, lack of funds to pay the bills and financial freedom can have a detrimental impact on your relationship. Hence, it is important that as a couple you reach some agreements regarding money and money management.
Your priorities in life, in a relationship and about finance can be similar or very different to that of your partner’s. Therefore, it is important that each of you is clear about your top priorities in life and in your relationship to ensure that you both place a similar importance within these areas. Your priorities determine how you spend your time, so if you complain that your partner spends little time on managing money, paying bills or making financial decisions, perhaps your and your partner’s priorities around money are different.
As a couple it is important that you are both on the same page and that you share the same focus around your cash flow. Then together you can achieve your goals (eg. saving, investing, debt reduction, etc) more easily, and minimise disagreements over money.
Address your fears and worries
You and your partner’s beliefs, fears and worries about money will affect how you manage it. For example, if you have a fear of losing money you may make decisions regarding your finances based on that fear, and as a result, you may lose money. Likewise, if you and/or your partner are worried about money or being able to pay the bills, this will also increase your stress levels and will become self fulfilling through your behaviour. Instead, address any fears, worries and limiting beliefs around your funds to increase your financial success.
You and your partner may have different habits around money. For example, some people are spenders and seek instant gratification; they are spontaneous with their spending and tend to impulse buy. Other people are savers and plan for future gratification; they wait to get the rewards of their savings and are happy working towards medium and long term goals.
In addition, some partners are very organised when it comes to money; they know when bills are due, they organise their payments and have a system in place to keep on top of all money matters. Others may be very disorganised; they may put off money matters and often can be late with paying bills.
Observe each others’ behaviour in relation to money and notice your spending habits. Are they different or the same? Then avoid forcing your partner to change (unless they wish to change their unwanted habits around money) or to be the same as you. This only leads to arguments, frustration and conflict.
Instead, agree to work with your strengths. For example, if your strength is to save and be organised, then you would be the best person to manage the payment of bills and your savings goals. If your strength is as a spender, then your partner would be best to manage your finances as a couple once you both agree on a budget.
To create harmony around money with your partner, remember to:
1. Check and align your and your partner’s priorities around money
2. Agree on common goals around finances that you can work towards together
3. Address any fears, worries or limiting beliefs around money
4. Work with each of your strengths when it comes to money habits and managing money day to day.
Then as a team, you can more easily and harmoniously empower each other to achieve your finance and relationship goals.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit www.qttransformation.com.
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