When was the last time you stopped to think about your achievements and successes in your relationship?
Acknowledging Your Successes
The start of the year is a great time to assess how much you have achieved in your relationship with your partner in the past year and what you could do differently to achieve far greater success in the year ahead. By regularly giving yourself a pat on the back, you will find your motivation levels increase and you will have greater drive and determination to succeed in the face of any relationship challenges.
Below are some quality questions you can ask yourself to give yourself feedback on the past year and to assess what you need to do to revamp your relationship this year.
Your Self Assessment
Firstly, think about the relationship goals that you set last year, whether with a new or current partner. How would you rate your overall success (out of 10) in achieving your relationship goals in the last year? Rate each goal separately and then for each one, ask yourself the following questions:
- What have been your biggest successes in the past year?
- What could you have done better, differently or improved?
Next consider the following:
- What have you been putting off doing in your relationship? Make a list of all the things you have been putting off doing in the past year. Next to each item, write down how much your procrastination has cost you in terms of time, energy, focus, fulfillment, fun, etc.
- Is there anything that you could stop doing altogether that would either have a neutral or positive impact on your relationship?
- Is there anything that you could start doing that would have a positive impact on your relationship?
- What relationship challenges did you experience last year and how effectively did you deal with them?
- What could you have done differently, better or improved to deal with the relationship challenges more effectively?
Getting Focused
Once you review the above answers, decide your top 2-3 priorities for your relationship in the year ahead. Choose the actions that will make the biggest positive difference to your relationship in the coming year.
Next, set some relationship goals as these will assist you to revamp your relationship. Make sure that your goals are specific, realistic, measurable and have a specific date by which you would like to achieve them. You may wish to stagger the dates so that you can focus on two goals at a time, take sufficient action towards each one and, therefore, achieve them faster. Then for each of your goals, put together a simple action plan of the key steps you need to take to achieve each goal, together with a date next to each step. Taking baby steps each day or week will reduce overwhelm and will have you achieving your goals before you know it.
It is important to regularly review how you are tracking versus your relationship goals. This will assist you to change or improve on what you are doing along the way, rather than waiting until another year has passed and then wishing that you had changed things in your relationship sooner. By regularly reviewing your relationship, you will stay focused and motivated and will be better placed to deal with any challenges, rather than being side tracked by them. Just imagine how much more fulfilled you could be this year by revamping your relationship.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit www.qttransformation.com.
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