How to tell if the feelings aren't mutual

Boy, bye.Image: source.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why he’s going hot and cold, or asking your girlfriends what it means when he says certain things, maybe you’ve been in a “he’s just not that into you” scenario. We’ve all been there – unrequited love (or like) is some kind of rite of passage, like getting a haircut that doesn’t suit you or wearing the wrong shade of foundation in your teens. Here’s how to tell when a guy just isn’t that into you.

He sees you when it suits him

If you’re dating a guy who only seems to want to hang out when it’s most convenient for him, he’s bored, or his prior plans have been cancelled, that’s a big red flag. Sure, he can’t drop everything at your every whim, but if you start to feel like you’re vying for a space in his life, you aren’t being prioritised.

You haven’t met his friends or family

If he’s being vague about when you get to meet the parents or simply have a drink with his friends, he may not be serious about keeping you around for long. The most important people in his life should be meeting a new important someone in his life.


Lack of communication

One-word texts, taking a long time to reply or full radio silence for several days, all followed by lame excuses? Trust us, if he is into you, he’s going to want to talk to you.

Cancelling frequently

If you often find yourself having a solo date with Netflix when you were meant to be wined and dined, he may not be that into you. Yes, life happens and sometimes we all have to cancel plans and dates. But if he is flaking on you a lot or always backing out at the last minute, it’s time to find someone who can honour your plans to hang out.

He’s not interested in what you have to say

Is every conversation about his day, his exciting news, his opinion of such-and-such? If you struggle to get a word in when you have something valuable to contribute, or he changes the subject when you try to talk about your own interests, he is showing he doesn’t value what you have to say.

You make all the effort

When you’re always the one to text first, suggest meeting up, or even initiate in the bedroom, the feelings may not be mutual. No one wants to be afraid to text “in case I annoy him”, so take note of how often he initiates contact and you’ll see, he’s just not that into you. Girl, you deserve more!


Words: Hanna Sloan