Can you find a deep connection when dating online?

If you have had challenges forming a deep connection when dating online, here are five things you can do right now that will assist you.

1. Understand your priorities

Your priorities are things that you value and that are important to you. Deep connections are formed in relationships when people have similar priorities in life. If you are unclear about what is important to you in your life and in your future relationship, it is going to be more difficult to form a deep connection online. By being clear about your priorities you will save a lot of time online. Instead of focusing on many online profiles, your priorities will help you to narrow down the field and focus on the quality ones you wish to pursue.

2. Be clear about what you want

Also be clear about exactly the type of partner you want. Be specific as to age, where he lives, whether he is single/divorced/widowed, whether he has children from a prior relationship or not, his profession, any personality traits that are important to you, etc. If you create a deep connection with someone online, and later find out they are not the partner you really want it makes it harder to connect deeply on common ground. It also avoids you being frustrated by talking to men online who are not a good fit for you.

3. Have non-negotiables

Just as important as being clear about what you want are your non-negotiables – the things you will never compromise on. For example, how you are spoken to and how you are treated. Begin by getting really clear about what you want in a partner, then look at that list and circle the non-negotiables on that list. These are your deal breakers. If you are unclear about your non-negotiables, you may find it difficult to say “no”, may get into a relationship you do not want and may compromise yourself for love.

If you have had challenges forming a deep connection when dating online, here are five things you can do right now that will assist you.

4. Trust your gut

While you are communicating to different men online, if something feels right act upon it. However, if it feels uncomfortable or inappropriate for you, avoid/stop it. Also look for any inconsistencies as these may be a warning sign. For example, one day he is gushing with compliments and next week he ignores you totally. Take your time to get to know the person behind the profile, observe his language, response time, etc. Whatever pattern you notice, listen to your gut. Your gut is always right and will guide you in connecting deeply with the right one.

5. Never settle

Also trust in abundance and that there is a man out there that is right for you. Stay true to what you want, your priorities and non-negotiables. If you settle for less than what you really want, you may end up in an unhappy relationship. Stay committed to your needs and wants, back yourself fully. All deep connections with a partner begin with you having a strong and positive connection with yourself. It is a lot easier to form a deeper connection with a man online when you back yourself and have a strong relationship with yourself first.

Start putting these five steps into place and enjoy the great connection from your online dating experience.


Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit

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