Dating

Bad blood: the platonic best friend break up

Written by Jessica Lunan

Best friends share a platonic love that you can’t imagine ever ending, until it does.

Best friends share a platonic love that you can’t imagine ever ending, until it does.

While we’ve all experienced heart break, it’s usually the traditional romantic type. This is the separation that never gains much attention- the best friend breakup. It’s the moment you lose the Thelma to your Louise, the Blair to your Serena or the Heidi to your LC. Here’s what happens when you and your best friend decide to go separate ways.

When you're ghosted by your BFF.

At first it’s easy to believe you haven’t heard from your best friend because you both lead such busy lives. But when the days of radio silence turns into weeks, then months, it’s hard to believe that they’re just busy. You’re instantly left wondering what happened between you and your platonic soul mate. Perhaps it was a long time coming or you’ve just grown apart? Never the less, being ghosted by your best friend is one hundred times more painful than being ghosted by a f*boy.

Who will you call?

When you break up with a partner, the usual protocol is to invite your best friend over and enjoy a glass of wine, cull the memories you’ve shared together and try to move on. But with a best friend breakup, who do you turn to during this painful time? What do you do with all your memories? Especially if you’ve travelled the world together, or been best friends since you were young.

Best friends share a platonic love that you can’t imagine ever ending, until it does.

Being unsure if your mutual friends are still your friends.

Like a romantic break-up, when you break up with your best friend you’re left wondering if your mutual friends will continue to remain your friends, or worse, if they’ll disappear on you like your supposed BFF.

Hearing about their major life events from others.

It’s a strange moment when you find out from others that your ex-BFF has finally landed that promotion, is engaged or is moving across the world. You’re not sure if you should message them to congratulate them (wait, do they even have the same number?) or if you should let things pass and continue your life feeling strangely bitter about the whole situation.

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Pretending to not be jealous when you see them with someone new on social media.

Just like how you stalk your ex-partner every now and then (don’t pretend like you don’t), it’s hurtful when you see your ex-bestie hanging out with someone new. However, more often than not they might be trying to move on from your friendship too.

Best friends share a platonic love that you can’t imagine ever ending, until it does.

Being unsure if you should acknowledge their family or significant other.

Seeing your ex-BFF’s family or significant other while you’re out and about is always awkward. Like your ex-bestie, you know so much about these people that it’s hard to ignore them. But at the same time, you can never be too sure what your ex-BFF has said to them about you, especially if things ended badly. The best thing to do is to bravely say hi and attempt to not sound hostile when you ask how your ex-bestie is.

Being forced to enjoy your sense of humour on your own because no one gets it but your ex-BFF.

There’s nothing worse than going to tag your ex-bestie in that hilarious meme you found on Facebook, only to realise that you can’t. However, what’s even worse is showing someone else that same meme and then having them pretend-laugh out of pity. You’re left wondering if you’ll ever find someone who understands your sarcastic sense of humour or appreciates weird memes like you do.

Finally accepting the situation and moving on.

Like they say, heart break gets better with time. While it may hurt for a while and you’ll be unsure if you should like their Facebook status and Instagram posts, over time you’ll feel better. You’ll find others who share your sense of humour and cringey music taste. And you’ll look back on your friendship with you ex best friend and rather than feel sad, you’ll be able to smile.