How long have you been keeping yourself too busy to have a relationship? Do you spend far too much time in your career or other areas of life, and leave little or no time for commitment?
It’s time we talked about time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, yet some people seem achieve so much in one week, while others feel like they have accomplished very little. How you relate to time and how you spend it determines how much of a balance you achieve and, therefore, how fulfilled you feel. Generally, people who have balance in their life are often more fulfilled than those who feel there is something missing.
How much time you spend on a relationship depends on these three areas.
Because your priorities determine how you spend your time, it is important that they are aligned with having the relationship you are seeking. What are your current priorities in life? And how important is a relationship to you right now? Ask yourself: “What is important to me in life right now?” and note these down. Then look through that list and prioritise it in order of importance.
As you look at the above list, what do you notice? Is a relationship on your list in life or is it missing? If it is missing from your list, this explains why you have not been attracting a relationship – it is just not important to you in life, so you are not focusing on it, nor taking action towards it.
What are your beliefs about time? Do you use time as an excuse to busy yourself with your career when it comes to a relationship? Or do you have beliefs about lack of time in general? What are your beliefs regarding men and relationships? Are they positive or negative?
Do you worry about losing your freedom to do other things if you are in a relationship? Are your beliefs empowering or disempowering you to find the partner you want? Notice yourself talk about time and relationships, and this will point to your beliefs.
The meaning you give to things determines whether or not you do them, and how much you enjoy doing them. For example, if you dislike dating, intimacy, etc, you will probably lack motivation in these areas and put off pursuing a relationship. You may even allow yourself to be distracted by things you think are more fun and enjoyable to do.
Change the meaning you give to dating and being in a relationship, and you will change your motivation to be in a relationship. Once you are more motivated, you will find it much easier to follow through on dating and other action.
Be honest with yourself and ask yourself, what does a relationship mean to you?
• Hurt, rejection, abandonment, vulnerability, fear, loneliness, etc; or
• Happiness, love, sharing, togetherness, commitment, joy, etc?
By being “too busy” for a relationship, are you “busying” yourself to avoid admitting what you are really avoiding by not being in a relationship? And then addressing it.
Once you align your priorities, beliefs and meaning around time and relationships, you will stop avoiding a relationship, and will find the time to take action to attract the partner you want in your life.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience. She is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships and confidence. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For more free resources on improving your relationships, please visit www.qttransformation.com.
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