Think of your body as a thoroughbred race horse. You’ve got the right physiology to achieve the big O, but without the right training, jockey (yes, that’s the man in this scenario) and gear (this is the extra fun part), it ain’t gonna be jumping those hurdles to get past the finishing line.
With recent news suggesting that the number of women reporting that they always or nearly always reach orgasm during sex is on the decline, the mission to help women achieve more orgasms has been accepted. Brace yourselves for 7 ways to show him how to help you reach the big O.
1. Set the scene
Women take a lot longer to ‘get in the mood’ than men do, and need time to unwind from a stressful day at work, or from wiping baby puke off their shoulder for the tenth time. In the same way that you’d warm up before a race, it’s essential that both your mind and body are in ‘sex mode’.
Ask your partner to gift you some hot lingerie. Wear it during the day under your everyday clothing so that it’s just you and him that know about it. The build up to revealing it at the end of the day is enough to drive both of you into a frenzy.
You can also ask him to ‘set the scene’ for the sexy night that’s ahead of you. Low lighting, a scented candle, no television blaring in the background, phones switched off and a glass of wine waiting for you - all of these things are conducive to getting you to tune out of the mundane stresses of life, and tuned in to getting in the mood.
2. Warm up
It takes most women longer than men to get to a level of arousal that is needed to orgasm. Fact. So foreplay is an absolute must for reaching climax, and we’re not talking about a little fiddle before getting stuck in. Kissing, caressing and sexy talk are just the basics, which lead onto stimulation of the clitoris and other nerve-rich areas such as nipples, to help create the all-important lubrication in the vagina which is required for comfortable, and pleasurable sex.
3. Biology lesson
Never assume that men know which bits to pay attention to, and in which way. Most biology lessons don’t go over the pleasurable bits of the body in too much detail, so a lot of guess work and fumbling around can go on. And this isn’t going to get us the results we need.
Let’s start with the all-important role of the clitoris. Just as a penis needs blood to flow into it to achieve an erection, the clitoris also requires the same in order to be ‘erect’ and aroused. The key to this is time - don’t rush stimulation. Ask your partner to take his time, and to explore other erogenous zones that may be considered taboo, such as the anus.
4. Show and tell
Masturbate in front of your partner for the ultimate tutorial on where and how you like to be stimulated. Let them watch and learn, or talk them through what you’re doing - you’ll be talking dirty to them without even trying, and before you know it, you’ll both be seriously turned on.
5. Magic potions
Imagine trying to slip down the flume at a water park when the water's not running. Sure, you could probably do it eventually, but it wouldn't be half as fun (or satisfying). So why opt for a below par orgasm when you could go for one that blows everything that has ever come before it out of the water? Add lubricant into the mix for heightened sensations and extra slip ‘n’ slide that both of you will benefit from - Lovehoney Enjoy Water-Based Lubricant 250ml is an absolute essential. Then really go to town with a dab of Tracey Cox Supersex Orgasm Gel 100ml to intensify orgasms in an instant. Asking him to massage in the lubricant and apply the gel will involve him in the thrilling business of getting you massively turned on, and will teach him to come prepared for your next sexy session.
6. It’s good to share
A common misconception about vibrators is that they’re only used by women during solo play. Wrong. Get menfolk involved. Why not ask him to watch you play with your favourite vibrator? Remember, watching and learning can be a huge turn on for both partners.
Bullet vibrators are fantastic toys to introduce to foreplay and sex - they’re small, powerful, and deliver pinpoint stimulation to your clitoris, nipples, and even some of his sensitive external spots. The Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator boasts a whopping 17 patterns and 3 intensity levels of vibration to keep everyone fully entertained.
7. Run free
It’s good to talk. Especially when it’s vocalising your fantasies to your partner. It’s a tried and tested way of getting in the mood, and creates a sexy ‘to do’ list that will not only spice up your sex life, but get both of you excited when you know which fantasy you’re trying next. Add them to a calendar so you can both see them as upcoming events. Imagining what you’ll be doing with your partner later that day or week is an incredibly powerful tool for getting you aroused and well on your journey to the big O.
Thanks to our friends at Lovehoney for this exclusive.