Believe it or not, but 17 years later we are still referencing Sex and the City like it’s our bible. Those four fabulous characters created a movement that has highlighted significant moments that we as women face throughout our lives.
Carrie Bradshaw’s infamous relationship with Mr. Big is all too close to comfort. And sadly her addiction to the man she loved but never really had, only left her broken.
Though the television series glamorised her pain, the truth is that a toxic relationship like that is damaging.
So in hopes to alter the Mr. Big cycle, here’s seven reasons why being addicted to the one-who-got-away is the reason why you can’t let go.
1. As soon as he left, you left his mind
In the moment, all that existed was you and him, nothing could come between the both of you. But as soon as he walked out the door, ‘you’ no longer existed. He’s present with you but never wants to fully commit. You were no longer on his mind ... you were only at his convenience.
2. You were never enough
He gave you the feeling that you were the one, but he was always looking for ‘better’. And that feeling alone is addictive, because it creates a desire to be more ‘sought after’. Truth be told, it’s a destructive thought pattern because eventually you will sacrifice a piece of who you are to be something that you aren’t.
3. He can’t let you go
You keep convincing yourself that he will never fully get over you. He exists in your life sporadically and that’s because you allow it. There are not a lot of boundaries and that 2am ‘miss you text’ is excused for true feelings. You’re the one he can’t make his mind up about, but you confuse that with hopes that he can’t do life without you.
4. You compare every guy to him
It’s the dangerous and delusional state where you unfairly compare every other guy to him. You can never become emotionally available because you feel something for someone else. You’re willing to stay in your single rut because you’re convinced that someday Mr. Big will change his mind and give you his all.
5. He was your best in bed
Your Mr. Big was the best you ever had. And that is what has destroyed you even more. It’s unfair that the man you love could also be the best f*ck of your life. It’s one thing to steal your heart but to take this away from you as well ... it’s just selfish!
6. It felt real, but it was a lie
You can’t get over him and you don’t want to. It felt real and letting someone take that away from you is completely cruel. How could he be 100% present in the moment but be lying through his teeth?
7. You still have hope
Though you’re tainted, there’s still hope that the love you gave will one day be returned. You know that you’re ‘enough’ and that’s all that matters.