We all know the dating world is tough. It’s hard enough finding someone you’d like to spend one-on-one time with, let alone that first date going so well you want more! But are there things you are doing (or not doing) that could be stopping you from finding true rom-com love?
A date with Miss Chatterbox
It’s great that you want to have a conversation and don’t mind telling people about yourself – it’s the easiest way to get to know each other! But if you’re totally dominating the conversation, your date is going to have visions of a future where they never get a word in. Slow down, and get some balance in the conversation. Ask them about themselves!
On the other hand, don’t make your poor date feel like they’re in an interrogation, or a seriously tough job interview. Instead of firing questions at them one after the other, ask things that can be turned into a discussion or lead to common ground. You don’t want to make them feel like you’re mentally going through a checklist!
It’s not a competition
It’s great to tell people about things you’re proud of, because it shows you’re confident and know your worth. However, the date doesn’t need to turn into a contest – don’t counter everything they say with something you did better! It’s super off-putting.
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If you’re being really close-minded about things they’re saying, or shutting them down when they express an opinion, you come across as thinking you’re superior. This can make people feel like you don’t see them as worthy of your time! Loosen up a little! Be open to new ideas, or at least let them express theirs.
Hey, it’s natural to be excited for a date. And maybe you send a text about how you can’t wait for Friday night. Or five. Slow down! If their phone is constantly lighting up with texts and Snaps and Insta likes all from you, they aren’t getting a chance to breathe. It’s great to be excited, but don’t swamp them or they’ll feel overwhelmed.
We’ve all been told to play hard to get, but don’t take it to extremes. If you totally ignore your date’s texts leading up to the big night, or worse, act like you couldn’t care less when you’re there, you’re sending the message that they aren’t important to you. Same goes for anyone guilty of playing on their phone while on a date!
Speaking negatively about anyone – exes, the wait staff serving you, mutual friends – puts you in a bad light. Even if you try to be funny about it, your date is likely going to be wondering what you’ll say about them later. Make the date about you and the person you’re with, and no one else.
Words: Hanna Sloan
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