Dating

6 Ways you are self-sabotaging your Tinder dating life

Blonde girl with head in hands

Are you in a dating-slump? As much as you want to have faith in Tinder, Hitch and dating apps alike, do you rarely have a successful date secured out of these platforms?

We are confidential, independent and busy women but that doesn't mean that we wouldn't love to meet our Mr. Right... right?

Although dating apps have a bad rep, they are the most common way to meet potential dates in the modern world. Think about it, how many Gen Y-ers do you know that AREN'T on Tinder?

Whether you want to admit it or not, there are mindsets and habits that we ladies have on online dating sites that might be hindering your chances of finding your Future Bae.


Which of these self-sabotaging online dating acts are you guilty of?

Drew Barrymore in He's just not that into you

1. You only swipe right on your picture perfect guy

So you like tall, dark haired men with smouldering eyes (and a very specific length of stubble)? There’s no way you are swiping right on someone who does not fit those standards, right?

Because the initial connection on Tinder is purely based on physical attributes, it is a good idea to let go of those ‘he’s so not my type’ standards. You never know, the short blonde guy might just be your true match.

2. Your deal breakers are a deal breaker

Sure we ladies like to set certain standards that we look for in a potential partner, however don’t be so quick to 'kick him to the curb' just because he does not tick every box on your mile long list. There is a lot to learn from men that are different to you.

[RELATED: 7 Scandalous Tinder confessions you need to read to believe]

3. You chat for too long in the virtual world

The usual Tinder cycle goes something like this; you connect, you chat on Tinder and if all goes well you move to texting, then comes the time to meet in person. While meeting someone face-to-face can be both exciting and daunting, don't stay in that 'texting' zone for too long. This allows room for over-analysing every message and often leads to miscommunication. It is mostly impossible to understand what the person on the other end of the text is thinking... Because what EXACTLY does his winkey-emoticon reply mean?!

Man eating and talking about online dating

4. You want an instant connection

Maybe our favourite rom-coms are to blame for this but we woman want to feel an instant connection when we meet someone... love at first sight as they say. Now, you can continue living in your fairy tale dream world or you can come to terms with the fact that as human beings, we are all awkward and the physical connection will build as your emotional connection gets stronger.

5. You set your standards too high

So you’ve been talking for weeks and now you have this exact picture in your head about what he looks like, what he talks like and what his personality is like? This is sad to admit but by not setting your too high standards for a potential date, you are less likely to be disappointed.

[RELATED: When you’re getting too hooked on your hook-up]

6. You get too emotionally involved

The biggest mistake you can make in the modern dating world is thinking that he is ‘the one’ before you are even official.

Whatever you do, DON’T stop dating, DON’T give up on other budding dates and DON’T delete your Tinder account just because one of your conquests is shining brighter than the others.

The truth is, if you are completely available he has nothing to work for, so keep your options open ladies!


Image: Source

Words: Frances van Eeden


Words: Frances van Eeden