Few things are more nerve-wracking than a promising first date. And while dates are meant to be a precursor to an actual relationship, first dates are also mini-interviews disguised as social outings, whether or not we like to admit it. That’s why figuring out what to talk about ahead of time with a list of good first date questions and conversation starters is so important.

Here, we’ve divided your first date into five phases and suggested a series of questions to ask your date during each one.

The first ten minutes

These questions are key primers, the ones to ask after you’ve said hello, and settled in somewhere comfy. Sure, they’re kind of boring, but they’ll set the tone for your date, and give you immediate things to talk about: “Oh, you went to QUT? I did too!”

1. What do you do?
2. Where are you originally from?
3. Where did you go to school/uni?
4. What did you study at uni?
5. Where exactly do you live in (insert your city/town here)?

After the first drink arrives

Now that you’ve gotten the basics out of the way, it’s time to get a little more specific. Questions over the first drink should be an equal mix of inquisitive and casual, and should allow you to start gauging their true personality.

6. What do you like doing when you’re not working?
7. What genre of music are you into?
8. Have you read any good books recently?
9. Are you more of a TV person or do you prefer movies?
10. Depending on the above answer, ask them what they’re watching or what they’ve seen lately.
11. Have you travelled anywhere recently/got any trips coming up?
12. Do you have any siblings?
13. Do you have any pets?
14. So what brings you to (insert dating app here)?

Things are starting to get comfortable…

If you and your date are starting to hit it off, it’s time to start slipping in more personal questions, while making sure neither of you feel compelled to reveal too much. They’ll also further loosen the two of you up and can lead to some funny, entertaining conversations. Remember, this is just a guide, you wouldn't want to ask all of these questions on the one date (you'd be there for hours)! Pick and choose a few that stand out for you and start chatting away. 

15. Are you more of a cat or dog person?
16. Do you have any nicknames?
17. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
18. Coffee or tea?
19. Favourite alcoholic beverage?
20. If you could be anyone for a day, who would you be?
21. Are you a morning or a night person?
22. Do you enjoy cooking?
23. What are you most passionate about?
24. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
25. What’s your guilty pleasure TV show?
26. Do you have a go-to drink?
27. What was your quirkiest habit as a kid?
28. If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?
29. Who in your family are you closest to?
30. Do you like going out?
31. Tell me about your friends.
32. How did your parents meet?
33. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
34. Who would play you in the movie of your life?
35. How would you like to be remembered?
36. What would your death row meal be?
37. What was the first concert you attended?
38. Who do you live with?
39. Are you close with your roommates?
40. Have you ever travelled anywhere solo?
41. If you could visit any time period in history, what would it be?
42. What’s your relationship with your family like?
43. What’s your idea of the perfect date?
44. Where’s your favourite place in the whole world?
45. What would be your dream job?
46. What are you worse and better at than 90% of the population?
47. What is the worst/weirdest job you’ve ever had?

Sign me up for a second date!

These final questions should easily transition you out of the date while subtly implying that you’d be down to meet up again.

48. Do you have anything fun planned for the rest of the weekend?
49. Do you have a busy week coming up?
50. Did you like this place?
51. How are you getting home?

Let’s keep the date going

Suggest a (PG-rated!) alternate ending to the night rather than simply going your separate ways after drinks or dinner.

52. There’s a great bar I know around here, want to go grab a drink?
53. Want to get coffee/dessert after this?
54. My friend is having a party a few blocks away, would you like to swing by?
55. What are we doing after this?

Emma is just your average book loving, tea drinking, story writing, narcissistic millennial on an eternal quest for the perfect t-shirt. Ever since she picked up her first copy of Dolly when she was twelve, she always knew she wanted to work in magazines. She would describe herself as a bit of a hopeless romantic with an obsession for true crime and horror and a love for red wine, whiskey or a stiff gin and tonic. When she's not binge watching Netflix or buying things she can't afford online, she spends her weekends trawling through bookstores and eating her way through Brisbane.