It was a crisp summer night and I’d slipped into my figure-hugging, little black dress and strappy-satin, Jimmy Choo heels and headed to the city’s hottest nightclub. While my friends and I were waiting for our cocktails by the bar, I ran into an old acquaintance. She was snuggling into the nook of a tall, toned man. He appeared confident in his stance and she appeared comfortable and secure.
We started chatting and it wasn’t long before our conversation escalated and I found myself asking who was her silent partner. But her reply was something I wasn’t ready for and it shook me to the core.
I’m on the verge of 29 and my girlfriends and I all shudder at the thought of commitment.
Give us a job, a new client, a project challenge or anything to do with moving forward in our careers and we’ll tackle it front on. Give us a man and ask us to settle down right now and we’re having instant panic attacks.
Many will say it’s because we are yet to find the one but FOREVER is still a daunting thought.
Daily I swear on (Yves) Saint Laurent, commit to my Christian Louboutins, promise myself Prada, lust for Louis Vuitton and melt for Marc Jacobs. But I tend to always run down Struggle Street when a man asks for my hand in life’s level of eternity.
In that moment, this acquaintance quickly became my frenemy. Though we grew up together and yes she was a number of years younger than me, when she mercilessly told me she was married - I was left simply, gob smacked.
It had me questioning whether or not I had missed the love boat? Am I the only one judging and questioning my single status? Does commitment mean completion?
Here are 4 thoughts every single woman has when everyone around her is jumping on the marriage wagon and setting sail to honeymoon land.
Will I be alone forever?
As a woman there’s this unwritten rule that lingers where society expects you to reproduce. So when we’re faced with the reality of our age and no man, it leaves us in an overwhelming headspace. Sometimes the male specimens aren’t lining up for the single us but that doesn’t mean we’re alone. Companionship comes in all different shapes and sizes such as our closest friends and our dearest family members. Alone only sets in when we let it.
Is there really a Mr. Right? Have I missed him?
I don’ know about you but I’m over hearing about Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. I’m a firm believer that sometimes life just needs to do life. Timing, it’s all about timing. Maybe you haven’t found the one just yet but you won’t discover him by worrying and questioning where he is. Just let him float your way and remember to expect the unexpected. Love will find you.
Should I settle for second?
These are the tender moments where we are already fragile and start to consider our options. It’s dangerous territory. But one thing’s for sure, never settle for second best. Why have half when you can have the whole thing?
Can I be happy alone?
Despite conforming to society’s ideals of fulfillment, happiness is found within you. It should never be found in someone else. That’s an unhealthy foundation. Being happy with who you are means that you can be happy with Mr. Right.