Dating in 2017 isn’t easy. I’ve had a number of conversations with girlfriends, industry colleagues, and many other women from different walks of life who have agreed that the dating landscape has changed dramatically.
We no longer need to go out to find a date. We can sit in the comfort of our own homes and connect with a complete stranger.
There’s no need to ‘traditionally court’ anymore, hence why when we do stumble across something slightly old school, it’s refreshing. Sounds like I’m talking about something unattainable, but I’m not.
I’m referring to no dick pics, no late-night booty messages and no sexting. Sure those things can come later, if that’s that you want. Though it seems to be the first thing guys want to do when they’re introducing themselves to a girl online.
That’s why ladies, we need to know our values, our wants and our needs. If you’re after a bit of fun, then go ahead and play. But if you’re seriously looking for that special someone, then you need to approach the game a little differently.
If a guy starts messaging you and it’s all physical and he’s clearly not interested in who you are as a person, then kick him to the curb and move on. There’s so much non-sense out there that we can’t get cloudy visioned.
I’m not referring to an unrealistic criteria. I’m talking about understanding your standards. What will you accept and what won’t you tolerate?
Know that guys are programmed for immediate pleasure and gratification and once they get that, they’ll be quickly looking for their next hit. That’s why the cat and mouse game is so addictive. Guys love it when they have to work for it. It’s in their primal nature. And no, I’m not talking about sex. Whether you sleep with a guy or not has nothing to do with this. It’s about not always being readily available for him. And that takes a lot of self-control on your part, but it’s bound to hook him. Guys want what they can’t have. So let him chase you.
Firstly, this isn’t about changing who you are. Be authentic and remain true to yourself but steer away from the mundane conversations.
For example, texting him: ‘How are you going?’ is so boring. Why not say something like, ‘I hope you’re having an awesome day [insert cute emoji] x.’ You don’t always need to ask a question, just let him know you’re thinking about him. Those cute reminders will draw him in and will keep things interesting and spontaneous.
You could also amp it up a little and say, ‘This cuddle weather made me think of you [insert cute emoji] x’.
This opens things up for a conversation and shows him that it’s his turn to invest and text back. And it keeps you in-control without looking needy.
Again, this isn’t about sex. Skip the formal dinners or the Neflix and chill. Why not organise a fun and spontaneous date together. Opt for bowling, mini golf, a picnic or even a hike. Step outside of your comfort zone. You’ll learn a lot more about each other and can playfully have a good time. Plus, a little competitive edge never hurt anybody.
Dating isn’t always smooth sailing but it sure is fun. Take time to enjoy the experience and be present. Live in the moment and enjoy the journey. You’ll be surprised at how much you’ll discover about yourself.