Why a relationship is not the answer to finding happiness


I have a confession... I am shamefully addicted to the US Bachelor. One contestant in particular caught my attention from the first rose ceremony.

This girl constantly made negative remarks about the other women and frequently acted in a way she later regretted. It was clear that she had issues that she needed to sort out with herself before she could find any sort of stability in a relationship, and that had me thinking about our constant need of reassurance in others.

I have watched many women in my life jump from one relationship to the other. Always trying to find happiness - and the confidence they lack in themselves - through another man, only for it to fall apart time and time again.

Ladies, it’s time to face the truth; you HAVE to love yourself unconditionally before you can try to make it work with a significant other. The happiness you are searching for is within you.

4 Ways to love yourself and find your happiness

1. Accept your flaws and downfalls but focus on improvement

Perfection is an illusion, not even your favourite celebrities are perfect. Don’t strive to be what society has defined, accept who you are, flaws and all, but focus on your strengths. Accept your failures as teaching moments, guiding you to be the best version of yourself.


2. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone

This one is much harder said than done. It is easy to get caught up in your routine and stick what you know but you only grow when you are challenged.


3. Don’t be closed minded on new adventures and new possibilities

Change is scary to even the most confident of people. But life has a way of placing you where you need to be, so open yourself up to new possibilities. Take up a group sport or hobby that you have been curious about or go out with your friends from work that have been asking you every Friday. This will not only help boost your confidence but you will learn more about yourself.


4. Don’t keep the past in the past

Until you learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive others who have hurt you, you will continue to dwell on your past. By letting go of resentment and past anger you will be able to focus on what lies ahead instead. 

Words: Frances van Eeden