There are the girls who say they will be ready in five minutes, but actually take hours, contouring, blending, tweezing and plucking. Then there’s the rest of us, who ACTUALLY take five minutes to get ready, and to be honest sometimes can’t even be bothered to wash our hair. I mean, that’s what hats are for, right? But just because you’re lazy, doesn’t mean you have to skimp in the beauty department. Here’s a list of problems all lazy girls have come up against, and the beauty solution of your dreams.
1. Problem: Can’t be bothered taking your makeup off
Fix: Lazy girls are fine putting makeup on but taking it off? Ugh, it’s such a hassle when you just want to get into bed already. Can’t you just leave it ‘til tomorrow? NO! Even one night with a full face of makeup is enough to mess up your pores for a week. Keep micellar water, or makeup wipes beside your bed, so you can do all the hard work while you’re snuggled up beneath the covers watching Netflix on your laptop.
2. Problem: You overslept and have no time for makeup
Fix: Look, you’d love to look like one of those fancy YouTube beauty bloggers, with their perfectly made up, dewy complexion but ain’t nobody got time for that. Or the money. So you’re gonna need to know some cheats. Firstly, lipstick can be used as, well, lipstick, but swipe a few stripes on your cheeks and blend: BAM, blush. You can also use it as eyeshadow too. If you wanna do a full face, but have no time, your go-to routine should be: concealer, lippie on lips, cheeks, and just a swish of mascara. Done.
3. Problem: Contouring is just too. Darn. Complicated.
Fix: So there’s a dark colour, a blush and a light colour... but where does it all go? Get ready to get acquainted with the number three. Here’s the easy way: apply a bronzer down the side of your face in the shape of a three. The three should start at your forehead, coming in underneath your cheekbones and back along your jawline. Want to add highligter as well? Reverse that three: starting above your brow, go around your eye, come in at the top of your checkbone, and end above the bronzer three. Blend, and go about your merry way. Quick, easy, lazy girl approved.
4. Problem: Your eyes look as exhausted as you feel
Fix: Lazy girls either over sleep, or don’t get enough sleep so your eyes are gonna look a little sleepy from time to time. Wake your face up with a bit of nude pencil. Line your waterline on the bottom lashes with the nude colour pencil and your eyes will look wider and brighter so no one will know you stayed up til 3am binging old 90s sitcoms because you couldn’t find the remote to turn the TV off.
5. You can’t be bothered washing your hair
Fix: There must be a LOT of people who can’t muster enough enthusiasm to wash their hair because there are a few fixes for this one. Dry shampoo is a must for lazy girls and it’s essential to have a can on hand at all times. But if you feel like it’s too big a job for the magic spray, then you’re gonna need to do a cheeky wash. But don’t jump in the shower just yet. Instead, section the front part of your hair apart from the rest. Tie the back part in a bun. Then just lean over the sink and shampoo the front part only! Voila! Clean top layer of hair so you can strut out like the lazy boss you are.
6. Problem: You can’t be bothered dying your roots
Fix: Look, keeping up with roots die is time consuming and expensive. So just grab an eyeshadow colour that matches your hair colour and brush it on the visible roots with a spoolie brush. Super light blonde? Talcum powder also works.
7. Problem: Let’s be honest, you don’t have time for skincare
Fix: Moisturising? Exfoliating? What’s that? You shower five seconds before bed if you’re lucky. So, if you want to start doing skincare right without having to stop being the loveable lazy person you are, you’re gonna need to invest in some multi-tasking or easy-use products. Like a body wash that cleans, exfoliates AND moisturises (Philosophy's Microdelivery Exfoliating Body Wash, $40, does exactly that), or a moisturiser you can stick in the shower to remind you to use it (like Nivea’s In-Shower Rich Body Lotion, $7.99).
It’s OK ladies, I got your back. Lazy girls unite! Or, like, don’t because uniting means getting up off the couch and you just sat down, so...
Elizabeth Best is a beauty expert and writer with more than a decade of experience working for some of Australia’s most prolific media outlets. She enjoys long romantic walks along the makeup aisle, and fully expects for her profound love of travel and food to bankrupt her one day. You can follow her never-ending obsession with food and makeup on Instagram.